I also think that this point 3 (and also 2) refers to one bad habit. People, especially women, have tendency to gossip about their partners and thus create a bad atmosphere… How can they have a nice loving relationship when they have no shame to disparage their beloved one behind his back?

Today I came across this entry in Samajivina Sutta (AN 4.55) and I wanted to share it here in my thread about karmic relationships:

[The Blessed One said:] “If both husband & wife want to see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come, they should be in tune [with each other] in conviction, in tune in virtue, in tune in generosity, and in tune in discernment. Then they will see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come.”

Husband & wife, both of them
having conviction,
being responsive,
being restrained,
living by the Dhamma,
addressing each other
with loving words:
they benefit in manifold ways.
To them comes bliss.
Their enemies are dejected
when both are in tune in virtue.
Having followed the Dhamma here in this world,
both in tune in precepts & practices,
they delight in the world of the devas,
enjoying the pleasures they desire.

It is probably the first reference to karmic relationships which I have found. However, it is not clear if “the life to come” means next life or just future in this life.

And I also wanted to share a video about love which I really enjoyed. It is not directly connected to karmic relationships. However, it is very wise and you can find it on youtube “6 SECRETS TO A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP | Buddhism In English”

And I include the summary of the video here. Six principles for a happy relationship (not only a love relationship):
1. Treat your partner with physical/bodily kindness (giving, helping)
2. Treat your partner with verbal kindness (kind words, expressing love in words)
3. Treat your partner with mental kindness (kind thoughts lead to kind words and actions)
4. Share without reservation (share things with your partner, for example food etc.)
5. Be virtuous (Abstain from lies, stealing, killing, sexual misconduct, drinking alcohol… No doubt, all these might lead to serious problems in relationships. The more virtuous you are, the happier your relationship is. Virtue = trust)
6. Have a common goal/dream (Common goal or dream creates stability and trust in relationship, which leads to peace)

Beautiful!

Thank you, Anita. And I wish you the same. I can see that you are doing great (from your journal). I know it is a process… up and down… but important is that we are moving forward. I think that all of us will reach happiness in the end. It is just a matter of time. 🙂 How are you feeling these days?

Hello everyone,

I was reading through my thread again and found some words I wrote:

“Maybe it just still hurts me somewhere inside when somebody blames me for being myself. And it is true that it is very hard to be an introverted person in this very extroverted world and to be emotional and spiritual in a society which is very sceptical, pragmatic and materialistic.”

It is hard to be a very introverted person in this culture. However, I have managed to reach some awareness… some peace in myself… and I decided to take care of my introversion and cherish my being… I do not to try to change myself anymore. I mean I do not fight with my true self anymore. I am of course willing to change my faults and mistakes. The truth is that one of these mistakes was that I kept supressing myself, trying to change into somebody else.

“The fact is that if I find myself in a situation when I have to defend myself, I feel a bit guilty when I do so… a bad program in my head, bad ego…”

I am learning to defend myself with peace and compassion. If I can do this, I will be happier and people around me, too. I am not afraid of people who do not like me anymore. It is okay! It is their right not to like me. I know now that I am not in danger when people don’t like me… maybe I have managed to change the bad program in me a bit so far. And it is also because of you who gave me advice. Thank you a lot!

And this is a quote I found here in the forums (I do not remember the thread. I am sorry.)
It hit me hard:

“His parents and siblings thought he was weird for being introverted, so they made him feel like an outcast.”

I know this very well. But I am not angry, fearful… We are human beings with flaws. I am not angry with people who misunderstood me and rejected me for being introverted. I realize that it is not easy to get along with an introverted person and I swear I am working on being better for me and thus for others, too… but now without rejecting myself, without supressing myself… peace and compassion. 🙂
 

Thank you a lot for your posts. I am a bit wiser again. Thank you for your support, too. I appreciate you all very much. You are great people. 😊

I’ll retreat for a while… My wild self is calling me and I need to spend a few days offline… in nature with my animal buddies.

So… 🎅 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone. 🎄 Another great year of learning and healing is ahead of us and I’m looking forward to experiencing it all together, my online sangha! ✨

Hello Peter,

thank you for your insight. It is interesting…

I am thinking about anger and I don’t remember the last time I was angry. Maybe that’s why it is harder to understand it for me. I cannot relate to the thought that anger could be fed by compassion or love or that anger could lead to a positive outcome of the scenario.

Food for thought, I guess. 🙂