Hello Helcat,

it is very sweet… “I will do everything in my power to protect him and give him the life he deserves.” It warmed my heart. He is lucky to have you.

We do deserve love and care. It must be a great transformation… to heal yourself by being a parent.

Yesterday I was thinking that I should get back to EFT again. I hope it will help you. If you have any questions, you can ask me. 😊

I will try it, Anita. 😊 Thank you. But.. Later. Now I am a bit hesitant. I feel quite vulnerable, and I need more time for thinking about it. But it is a great idea!

Anita, thank you for your investigator’s advice, as always.

A lot to process.

Do you mean I should retell my memories with more compassionate view? I am not sure I can do it. I do have good feelings for the people. I understand them. However, I have a feeling that if I retell my experience differently than it was, I will actually minimize my feelings even more. Now, it seems to me that it would be a form of suppression. But I am not sure what you mean exactly.

I didn’t get the impression that you were belittling my problems at all. Quite the opposite. 😊 I was sometimes thinking that you might see my situation worse than it really was. It is me, you can see, who tends to downplay the whole thing. There are two typical excuses in my head. I am already an adult (1), and some people had it much worse (2). My inner voice is then very critical and I feel very stupid for such conflicting feelings when the ego keeps telling me that there is nothing to worry about and how selfish, self-centered and weak in fact I have to be when I think that such a little thing is a problem (compared to someone who used to be abused by his/her own parent for years, for example).

But I was attacked by many people many times… physically, verbally… many different people… for long time since my memory actually remembers. And it takes its toll. I cannot even tell you the names of those people because it was “normal” that someone just walking by felt like beating or bullying someone and I happened to be there. I found myself on the receiving end of a good deal of teasing, as well… about my appearance, my social phobia, my bad results at school…

Now, when I am thinking about it I realize how unhappy my generation was. I remember so many neglected children… And the fights between boys were so intense and cruel… and adults in general… so ignorant, careless… emotionless, strict and rigid… I just don’t understand what happened in our society in Czechia that it produced so sick people in the 90s… that amount of frustration, violence, neglect… later in the early 2000s I remember neonazis roaming around… antifa, punks, gypsies… and the clashes between them… I regularly met men being beaten, with bruises and bumps on faces… It was hard for me. I don’t like seeing people beaten or in pain… There was an ever-present sense of violence…

I used to be scared of men. I didn’t let any men approach me until 27.

I cannot point the finger at anyone. Not that I want to! I do not judge people, I do not blame people… we all were in the wrong place at the wrong time. And all of us had to deal with it somehow… you know… there are no specific people… in my story, it wasn’t a father… or a brother… or a neighbour… who hurt me… it was the time, the place, the atmosphere of society… How can I blame that? So, my brain can only blame myself… for being the weak one… I guess. “You should have been stronger.” “You have a choice not to let these things influence you that much.” etc.

I got over the worst. I am so happy. It was a nightmare. And it is over. But I know that there is still this little scar… and you know that scars don’t go away, they are always there… I just don’t usually see it (because it is in the heart)… But the saying “Out of sight, out of mind.” doesn’t work here… It is only about how I care about it when it hurts again…

Hello Anita, thank you for your time. No need to hurry. Enjoy your time outside/socializing. 😊 I hope that your toes are not freezing anymore!

Anita,

thank you for your support. ❤️

“Your ability to thrive on your own, make decisions independently, and solve problems is truly admirable. These strengths have helped you navigate many challenges and become the resilient person you are today. But while autonomy is crucial, finding a balance where you can still maintain your independence while benefiting from collaboration can enhance your growth and opportunities, becoming even more of the intelligent, strong and resilient person that you are today.”

I didn’t see this point of view at all. I actually felt very selfish for the way I am.

Hello Helcat,

you have to eat bananas? (? 😄)

Phew, it is wild! I am very happy I never had to take any medicine. What herbs do you like?

I believe that some AI can already talk. But you have to pay for this voice chat possibility. I think. I haven’t used it recently.

“I think it is unique being a parent because it is like having many jobs at the same time. Child care, cleaner, nurse, cook, physiotherapist, therapist, teacher all rolled into one. It is not easy, which is part of why people often fail at it. … Part of what scares me as a parent is what if one day I say something that upsets my child, that I might not even mean in a bad way. And it haunts them.”

I am not a mom, but I do understand. I can see that around me all the time… Moms have a lot on their plates… then they are completely exhausted, and then angry… and then it’s so easy to hurt that innocent soul with some words. (I know it from my childhood)