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Jana 🪷

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  • November 28, 2024 at 5:41 am in reply to: Fear, Anxiety and Healing #439735
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    how have you been doing?

    J.

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 28, 2024 at 5:39 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439734
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    – Return to innocence –

    I was supposed to be born in May. When my mom was pregnant with me, I was pronounced dead and she had to undergo C-section…
    What a surprise! I was alive!
    So, I was born … a little bit involuntarily … on March 6.
    This affected my mom a lot, maybe more than me… and she always thought I was so small and delicate and quiet because I was premature. She always saw my introversion and high sensitivity as a result of my premature birth.
    I don’t know where the truth is… But what I believe today is that I was like this before I was born. The fact that I’m sensitive and introverted isn’t the result of something traumatic like my premature birth… it’s just my genes, nature, karma, … Who knows. What is important to me today is that it is not something negative, bad, unwanted… something that has to be fixed… as it has been presented to me all my life.

    My mom sometimes tells me, as a joke: “You are typical Pisces! What would you be like if you were a Taurus?” (March = Pisces, May = Taurus)
    The same. I would be the same.
    Yesterday we were in a car I heard this song:
    Don’t be afraid to be weak<br aria-hidden=”true” />Don’t be too proud to be strong<br aria-hidden=”true” />Just look into your heart my friend<br aria-hidden=”true” />That will be the return to yourself<br aria-hidden=”true” />The return to innocence
    I am on my way to my real self. My introversion and sensitivity is something I need to return to… to return to myself, to my innocence.
    And I wanted to thank you because I have realized so much here on this forum. I felt so lost this year and now I am very happy I am going back to myself thanks to you.

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 25, 2024 at 5:40 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439672
    Jana 🪷
    Participant
    Hello Roberta and Anita,
    first of all I would love to thank you for your support and tips. You both are very wise and helpful and I really appriecate your effort to help me (and others on this forum). You are good people.
    And thank you, Lori, for approving my posts.
    I didn’t know that there is a “term” empath. I tried to look up more information about empaths and it seems that it really might be me. I found these points:
    1. You have a lot of empathy.
    I guess I do. It is difficult for me to say if I am oversensitive or empathetic. For example, when I read some people’s stories here, I feel sad and wish I had some miraculous power to relieve them. It’s hard for me to put these feelings into words. I often wonder why some have to suffer and others don’t… When I think about it much and get into my “low moment”, I even blame myself a little for the fact that I have a good life and others don’t… I wanted to be a psychologist but I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to detach from my clients’ problems and that I would take all the suffering home. I was also considering becoming a “nanny” in local orphanage but it was the same situation – I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to deal with their loneliness… I cannot watch violence, horror movies (with blood) because I might have nightmares. I absolutely hate it when someone hurts the weaker ones. And I often feel a bit guilty when I have to “kill” flowers, bushes, trees. I think about it and try to find ways not to cut them (for example when they are in a place where we plan to build something), so we try to replant them if it is possible.
    2. Closeness and intimacy can overwhelm you
    That’s true. I crave closeness and intimacy. It is very important for me. But it is true that in real life I sometimes feel overwhelmed by my partner’s need of closeness and intimacy (especially after long day with other people when my capacity for social contact is already “depleted”). I do not want to push him away. Quite contrary. He is another child who didn’t have his parents’ love in his life… He told me about it many times and that’s why he needs my presence / love a lot. I just need to find some strategies to find the balance between my alone time and the time of closeness/intimacy with him. Thank you for your tips – I’ll work on them and see how it works for us.
    3. You have good intuition.
    I think I do. My intuition saved me many times. But it is true that I tried to supress my intuition in the past, too. I thought that it was my wrong judgement. It is actually sometimes hard to tell the difference between intuition and judgement/illusion. When I have a bad feeling about someone, I start thinking about it rationally and tell myself: “Stop being so judgemental. You shouldn’t think like that.” The truth is that my intuition about people was usually very correct, but I wanted to see the goodness in them so much that I didn’t listen to myself.
    4. You take comfort in nature.
    100% true
    5. You don’t do well in crowded places.
    100% true, sometimes it is even scary for me. I really don’t like weddings, parties, shopping malls, full restaurants, … When I can, I avoid these events/places.
    6. You have hard time not caring.
    viz. point 1
    7. People tend to tell you their problems.
    This is true, too. In my mother tongue people say “Jsi mou vrbou.” (You are my willow) It means that you are somebody who people trust and they can cry on your shoulder. I always felt like a willow.
    8. You have a high sensitivity to sounds, smells, sensations.
    This is also true. I don’t like the sounds which many household appliances make, such as desktop PC, fridge, air conditioning… I very often need to leave my PC because it makes me nervous and I also suffer from information overload on the internet. And I need to turn it off and be totally offline for a few hours. This is also connected to point 5 – I don’t like places where there are a lot of lights, loud music, people talking, people in a hurry, … (now the christmas season is coming and I HATE it because instead of being calm and peaceful, people are going crazy on the roads, in the shops, …)
    9. You need time to recharge.
    100% true.
    10. You don’t like conflicts.
    100% true. I can face them – I have learned that sometimes it is neccessary to do it, but conflicts with people in general are very stressful for me.
    11. You often feel like you don’t fit in
    This is literally my life story. A feeling which I have had in me since I started going to school as a 6-year-old kid.
    12. You tend to isolate.
    Yes, I do. I need to recharge in isolation. But I think that I am getting better and am actively trying to be in touch with my extended family.
    13. You have hard time setting boundaries
    Yes, sometimes I am confused what I should do… I feel guilty when I set boundaries.
    14. You see the world in unique ways.
    I think so, too. I love that I can see, feel, hear the beautiful things around me. I noticed many times that some people just see a tree, nothing else… but I can see what the tree might have experienced during the many years it has been standing in that place.
    15. You sometimes find it tough to cope with sensory and emotional overload.
    Yes. viz. points 1 and 8.

    Once again, thank you for your tips. I’ll put them into practice and see how they work for me (us, with my partner). I have three busy days ahead of me, so I’ll be able to put them to the test. : -)

    Take care! And if you have any questions about EFT, feel free to ask.

    (written on Nov 25, at 14:40)

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 24, 2024 at 6:10 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439620
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    🪷 Buddhism – inspirational links 🪷

    I also would like to share with you links I find inspirational and helpful for my/our growth.

    Thich Hanh – The Art of Mindful Living, part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDXcIaUKHDU

    Thich Hanh – The Art of Mindful Living, part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlEqlqzkpT4

    PS: I’ll come back later. I am working on my promises to my beloved ones, meditation and mindful living. I think I have also figured out why certain energies in people still bother me. I’ll write more later. 🦋
    (written on Nov 23, 8:02)

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 24, 2024 at 6:10 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439619
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    🕊️ Emotional Freedom Technique 🕊️

    Hello! I would like to share a simple guide to how work on your feelings and emotions with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) by Gary Craig. Someone who will come across my journal might find it useful.

    This version of EFT is simplified and it doesn’t include an exercise with eyes. Look at this picture (I hope you can see it in this post – let me know)

    emotional freedom technique - tapping points

    1. Think of an issue you have. And get really into it. Do not just think about it, but take your time and focus deeply and fully on feelings and emotions that this issue arouses in you.

    2. You can measure the intensity of your feelings and emotions with these emojis: 😊 – 🙂 – 😐 – ☹️ – 😢 or from 1 (the least intense feeling) to 10 (the most intense feeling)

    2. You don’t have to do this step. You can tap without saying anything and just focus on the feelings and emotions. However, for some it works better when they can express their emotions in words. And there is the affirmative sentence to accept yourself and your feelings which is quite important. You can prepare your statement: (I created an example statement here:) Even though I feel devastated after our break-up, I love myself and accept myself deeply as I am.

    3. Close your eyes. Get into your emotions and say your statement three times aloud and keep tapping your outer palm.

    4. Get into your emotions or say your statement and continue tapping from point one to nine in the picture. Don’t worry if you skip a point. I know people who skip the point Center of head and I personally starts with outer palm (saying three times a statement or simply feeling the emotions for a while deeply), then I just feel the emotions or say main feeling (such as in the example “feeling devastated”) and tap inner eye, outer eye, below eye, below nose, below lip, collar bone, below armpit and forearm near my palm. Do not hurry, it is also a form of mindfulness. You have to do it carefully and be very mindful of your feelings and emotions.

    5. Open your eyes. You will naturally breath out… Think about any changes – better, worse. Check your feelings with emojis (or numbers), if you need. Tap until you feel relieve and you would identify with the first happy emoji. 😊 (or number one – no negative emotion, just neutral) Some feelings take MANY rounds of tapping… my personal exeprience with social phobia – years of tapping. The thing is that when you get into a deep problem, a lot of forgotten memories and negative emotions arouse. You need to tap them all.

    You can ask any questions, if you need.
    (written on Nov 23, 7:52)

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 24, 2024 at 5:33 am in reply to: I did the right thing at the wrong time, how to forgive myself? #439640
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    Hello Beni,

    I believe so. We are human beings. We want to fit in society but we often forget about ourselves.

    If you want to, you can be more specific.

    What is your story? 🙂

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 24, 2024 at 1:04 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439639
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    I continue with my journal …

    I don’t want to get rid of my introversion and sensitivity (and I don’t think it is possible). On the one hand I enjoy being introvert a lot. I love being alone only with animals, in the woods, in the meadows and tops of the hills. I feel strong connection to nature. It is my world, my healing… spiritual and physical too. (I actually use a lot of herbs for many illnesses and troubles… I’ve never had antibiotics in my life.) I am happy that thanks to my sensitivity I can feel a lot of beautiful and beneficial things around me: smells, sounds, sights, … I can tell the difference between a cat and a dog with closed eyes just by the smell. 🙂 There are many old pines around our house and I love their smell, especially when the sun heats them a lot in the summer, they produce very comforting scent. I like meditating listening to the wind and birds singing around… And I could write on and on and on… I also enjoy just my presence. I like being only with myself because I am peaceful and calm and I am very happy and joyful inside most of my time alone.
     
    But on the other hand, I know that it is a stumbling block when it comes to contact with people. I am like a sponge. I absorb the energies around a lot… and I absorb people’s energies and moods, as well. And when people are stressed, angry, upset, … that’s when I feel the fear of them…
    I have troubles when my boyfriend comes home and he needs to unburden to me. When he really gets into an unpleasant situation from work and gets a little bit angry because of some managers etc., I start to feel uncomfortable and have a need to “detach” (which means that I usually stop listening carefully and I am somewhere else in my head, if you know what I mean) … I can literally feel my energy waning and I get tired and I feel stressed a little bit. He would never ever hurt me. And he knows this about me and he tries to be more attentive. 
     
    I absord his energy in other situations, too. When he is a bit nervous in a car, when he is grumpy when he cannot smoke (he is a smoker), when he doesn’t feel comfortable in a group of people or when he is sick… I mean, I am grateful for this, too. It is a positive thing in a relationship. But I need to find some strategies to control my “absorbing”…
     
    The biggest problem is with stragers. When they have a very strong energy, such as anger, and they are also loud and dominant, it is really overwhelming for me. And this is the fear… this is the situation when I feel the fear of people… I am not afraid of people as such but rather their negative energies which get into me. After absorbing anger etc., I feel confused… because it is not my feeling… but the effect is in me… I need to work on this.

    (written on Nov 24, at 10:04)

     

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 24, 2024 at 12:57 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439638
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    It is a good idea. It is true that it is a bit annoying. You prepare your post, you take your precious time to look up information, sort out and write down your thoughts and you look forward to getting some replies. And then your post is awaiting moderation and it has been many hours (more than a week in case of one of my posts) and you still have no information. Was it deleted? If so, why? Is it still waiting? Hmmmmmm…

    (Nov 24, 9:57)

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 23, 2024 at 11:45 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439625
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    My posts here are again “awaiting moderation”. It has been many hours since I sent them. I included a picture and two links. Maybe I shouldn’t continue posting here because I need to express myself more with emojis, pics, inspirational links and it is obviously a huge problem. It is demotivating for me.

     

    I wanted to explain EFT for you which is not possible without a picture……

     

    Maybe by e-mail?

     

    This was sent on Nov 23, at 20:45 in Czechia.

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 21, 2024 at 7:02 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439581
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    – A Message to Those Who Love Me –

    I thought I could write a message to my beloved here… not to forget how important they are to me. And mainly, to become more mindful about them and take better care of their needs.

    My boyfriend
    I am very happy and lucky that I have a supportive and loving partner. Your life wasn’t easy. (life in poverty, beatings, hunger, no friends… car accident and days in a coma, cancer and hard chemotherapy treatment) You know mental and physical pain all too well. Still, you never gave up… you never grew bitter. You are strong, stable and open-hearted. I am proud of you and I have so much to learn from you. I am so happy that after almost 9 years together you still care so much about me, give me so much energy and love…

    I promise that from now on, I will be more mindful and I will… :

    • ask you if you are okay (because you always ask me)
    • ask you if you need my help
    • tell you that you look handsome (and not just think about it)
    • listen to you more carefully when you need to talk about your troubles from work (because you work so hard for both of us)
    • accept you when you need my physical presence (and not say “wait” or “later”)

    ❤️

    Our dog

    When you had tetanus in March this year, I was so heartbroken I could lose you. I’ll never forget how you couldn’t move because your legs became stiff by tetanus… and you tried so hard to fetch me your favourite ball… 😢 ❤️ And you survived and I started to live normal again… as if nothing happened… You have taught me so much so far.

    I promise that from now on, I will be more mindful and I will… :

    • spend more time with you (and not with the computer) when I have free time
    • be more patient with you when you are bad at other dogs
    • train you and teach you things more often
    • let you kiss our cat more often (I know you love her)
    • play fetch with your favourite ball more often
    • not ignore you when you call me (and I am at my computer doing nothing important….)

    Our cat

    You are the wisest of us all. Buddha cat. My little tiger. I need to be more aware of your presence. And not to take you for granted.

    I promise that from now on, I will be more mindful and I will… :

    • stay in the hall where you eat your breakfast and drink my morning coffee with you (and not at the computer)
    • let you in when you want to be with me and watch me brushing my teeth
    • play with you more often (I’ll buy toys for you)
    • HUG YOU AND KISS YOU MORE

     

    From now, I’ll take better care of you all. ❤️

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 21, 2024 at 1:26 am in reply to: Karmic relationships #439574
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    That’s sweet. I love animals and I don’t think that they are on a lower level than we are.

    I read this thought: “The doctrine of karma implies that souls are reborn as animals because of past misdeeds. Being reborn as an animal is a serious spiritual setback. (…) Because non-human animals can’t engage in conscious acts of self-improvement they can’t improve their karmic status, and their souls must continue to be reborn as animals until their bad karma is exhausted.”

    I love this idea much more:

    Buddhists see human and non-human animals as closely related:

    • both have Buddha-nature
    • both have the possibility of becoming perfectly enlightened
    • a soul may be reborn either in a human body or in the body of a non-human animal

    I do respect animals. I’ve always had a close relationship with them. And even though I don’t call myself vegeterian (because when somebody offers meat to me for lunch/dinner, I accept it.), I don’t like eating meat. It feels bad. It is not good for my health (the quality of meat is not good). It is not good for my sprituality. But this is strictly my subjective feeling and I don’t discuss it with anyone. (people in Czechia usually don’t understand this)

    I’ll look more into Jakatas. I can see now that it is also mentioned in the article about karmic relationships you recommended earlier.

    Have a great day!

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 20, 2024 at 11:14 pm in reply to: Fear, Anxiety and Healing #439573
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    I hope that you have a great day. It started to snow here. ❄️ 🙂

    I am glad that you are happy in the US. Can I ask – do you have someone who can support and protect you? Boyfriend, close friends, colleagues, …? I mean, someone who treats you kindly today.

    EFT is great. I am still using it for example when I have some little pain or worries about my work. I learned the version by Gary Craig, but today you can find tens of people who teach it online on youtube.

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 20, 2024 at 10:19 pm in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439571
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    thank you for your insight. It helped me to think about it.

    I understand that you imply that I put myself in the fawn role. It might be true (?), but I am getting better.

    • I never tried to please her. I was willing to spend some time with her and keep her good company, but I tried hard to change her negative thinking. I never agreed with anything negative she said. I corrected her when she gossiped others and I simply said that I had to leave when she didn’t stop her behaviour. Actually, I tried to show her thousand times that if she keeps being like that, I wouldn’t be in her company anymore. I also tried to show her that her negativity and sudden shifts between excessive melancholy and agressiveness might be the reason why her ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, son and brother left her… I wanted to support her, not to please her.
    • I do want to avoid conflicts but I know they are neccessary. The fact is that conflicts can be solved reasonably and calmly. This is why I didn’t agree with the other neighbour who fight against the landfill site here. Her way of solving conflicts includes arguing, creating drama, exerting pressure on others, manipulating others to fight for her side… that’s not for me. I want to solve conflicts, problems (if they exist) but as a reasonable and wise person. I don’t want to fall into this manipulation of others… or being a drama queen.
    • I am willing to make sacrifice for people I love because they do not exploit me.

     

    This is a note for me to remember / come back later to:

    – My Fear of People –

    What I find important is that I am able to stay calm and reasonable in the situation of conflict and I can solve it properly, but the problem is that I am troubled after the conflict. That’s what I need to work on. Now, after some introspection I think that it might be actually connected to my introversion… my “hangover” after intense contact.

    I am afraid of people who are manipulative, who try to exert power and control over me by explaining how bad and wrong I am. This is the childhood trigger (thank you, Helcat). I have been always bad, wrong, strange for others = feelings of being “outcast”

    I am more aware of theese poeple now. I know how to “detect” them = I need to listen to my instincs and feelings again. It is not true that others “know better” than me. I am more mindful about my feelings. There is still big contrast between my introversion, calm personality (which I actually really like and enjoy) vs expectation of these manipulative people. I don’t write “vs expectation of society” on purpose, because there are people who like me.

    to do:
    I have to shift my focus from others and external things to:

    • my introversion
    • those who love me and I love them
    • mindfulness and meditation

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 20, 2024 at 6:37 am in reply to: ☀️ 🪷 #439548
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    Hello Helcat!

    Thank you for your post as always! 🙂

    “Do you think that she might have triggered some feelings from the past when you were bullied?”
    – Honestly, I don’t think so. Or at least I am not aware of that now. Luckily, I managed to solve most of my emotional wounds connected to my childhood when I was working on my social phobia during my twenties. I can think about the specific moments of pain, specific people, specific situations and I don’t feel anything anymore. I just know that it was difficult for me, but it doesn’t trigger any strong emotional response. (I remember when I started with EFT and social phobia… I tried to bring back memories from the first time when a boy literally put the boot in me and I could feel the horror, fear, pain, shock inside me… I cried a lot processing this and I shivered just thinking about it again. It took me long time to “swallow” that I was beaten that hard by boys… today it is just a fact for me, I don’t feel anything anymore…) but … this is like something “new”, not directly connected to my childhood. I don’t know now actually.

    I will come back later when I have more time and answer to you all more in your threads. Thank you for your support! And Helcat, be strong! I am thinking about you and your family. You will make it! It is just a test. ☀️

    ☀️ 🪷

    November 20, 2024 at 3:01 am in reply to: Animal totem #439544
    Jana 🪷
    Participant

    Hello James,

    it appears that my post from Nov 16 will never be published. So I’ll write it again.

    Have you read any books written by Ted Andrews? I have a Czech translation “Lexikon zvířecí magie” but I am not sure which book it is in original English version. I can see that he wrote many of them and all seem to be very similar. This book is great and you can find there what you are looking for: a list of animals from insects, birds to big mammals, information about their lives, how you can track them, rituals, symbolism, totems and various execises how to connect with nature and animals. I really liked this book and I want to read it again soon.

    ☀️ 🪷

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