Penelope, do not feel guily! It takes both people to make a relationship work, especially a relationship where people live together. If it is not working, you are absolutely right to consider what is best for you and your children. Especially for your children. It is not a healthy situation for any child to be in when adults around them are constantly fighting, crying, emotionally toxic to each other. You are also not kicking your mother out on the street, she has a place to go.

You are also mentioning “the past” and it seems you tried to give her a chance despite the past. You have done your share, but each adult is responsible for themselves. If your mother continues to argue with you in your own home, then you are doing the right thing by discontinuing that unhealthy relationship. Maybe with some distance, it may be possible to heal from the past.

Remember also that you need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else. If you cannot take care of yourself when your mother is present, how can you take care of your children? They are the ones who depend on you and need you the most.

Also, the reply from Eric is very harsh. I hope you do not let those ideas sink into your heart. Many people struggle with guilt over making the right decision, but deep down, when you truly listen to your own heart, you will know what is right for you. Listen to THAT voice and stay strong in your resolve to do what you feel is best for you and your children.

I read your other post as well, about two ways of being, and can completely relate to both.

What I realized a long time ago is that I cannot change, control, nor influence other people. I can only do that to myself. I also realized that there is no person in this world who could ever make me feel complete, nor give me a sense of belonging, at all times. What I learned is that there are only moments of belonging with others; some moments last longer than others but no matter how long they are (minutes, days, years or even decades), they are ALL still just moments.

I also found that no matter how close I got to anyone, I always felt a sense of disappointment, and eventually emptiness. How could so many people be disappointing? They can’t. It was all within me, my perceptions, my reactions, my feelings. I was responsible for my feeling of “being left out” and “desire to say screw everyone.” It was very intense, very disturbing, painful, and difficult to accept. But this realization liberated me.

The true sense of belonging is belonging with yourself. When you start on a path to being your own best friend, you will start to feel a true sense of belonging. You will also realize that esentially all people are the same in our core, we all feel similar emotions, have similar insecurities, and none of us are perfect nor could ever be perfect. Then you will see that you do belong to this imperfect human collective.

People have various reasons for unfriending and it’s best not to take it personally. I know it’s easier to say this than to take it to heart and accept. If it is really hurting you that much, it would be wise to talk to your friend about it. And why does it hurt so much? From what I read in your post I am deducing that you care a lot more about this person than he cares about you. Ask yourself, is anyone who does not reciprocate your affection worth all the energy and time you put into thinking about them?