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HelcatParticipant
Itâs funny you say that because itâs directly related to the next story in the Lotus Sutra which is about Buddhaâs students and enlightenment.
I would agree, not being able to imagine or understand the possibility of a different future is a large problem in the world. We live our lives while experiencing a fascinating phenomenon: we know what we know, we know what we donât know, we donât know what we know and we donât know what we donât know.
There is a certain safety in what we know, even if it ultimately harms us. Depression can provide a measure of comfort. If we tell ourselves we are going to fail so thereâs no point in trying we donât ever have to put ourselves through the stress of trying.
We all need to keep our minds open to opportunities as they arise and make an effort to expose ourselves to positive new experiences. As well as being open to discomfort that arises with the new opportunities. Sometimes it is hard to make changes. But that is okay!
I do think other people have a large influence on how we perceive ourselves and our environment. Having a supportive network is beneficial for any kind of growth. Different people have the benefit of exposing us to different perspectives.
Iâm glad that thinking of fun relieved you of stress! I have really enjoyed discussing this with you. đ
- This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Helcat.
HelcatParticipantI hadnât thought about it that way. It is a nice way to think about it!
But I wonder if living skilfully in this metaphor would be the father who knows to use this way to coax his children to safety outside?
I think also, whilst the benefits of Buddhism might be what lures us to initially practice. Perhaps fun is a happy side effect? Sometimes it will be present, sometimes it wonât, since one theme of Buddhism is overcoming desire and attachment.
I do think practicing Buddhism would include fostering good experiences and being open to happiness and fun. Freedom from suffering sounds like a nice idea.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Helcat.
HelcatParticipantIn the version I am reading the ending is different. This version, the father is wealthy and gives the children beautiful carts after they agree to play outside and leave the burning house.
Yes, I would agree that the carts represent the gifts of Buddhism.
The children were coaxed outside by their desire to play. Much like I became interested in Buddhism after learning that psychology has been heavily influenced by it and surmising that I may benefit from learning more. Unsurprisingly, Iâm learning quite a lot and benefiting from these practices. So there is the cart that was promised!
Iâm afraid that I donât know much about Mahayana Buddhism. Only what I can glean from books.
May 3, 2022 at 2:55 am in reply to: Affirmation – I do not fear failure. Negative or positive? #399415HelcatParticipantHi Danny!
Iâm glad that you find affirmations helpful!
I agree with Anita, these affirmations are personal to you so only you will be the best judge of how your affirmations will help you. Clearly, you put a lot of thought, meaning and effort into creating them.
Good luck! My only other thought, is as well as the affirmations have you come up with some achievable goals to work towards related to the affirmations? It could be nice to track some tangible results alongside these affirmations.
HelcatParticipantHi PuChop!
Iâm sorry for the difficulties that you are experiencing. Have you considered changing jobs? Itâs good that it provided a safety net during the pandemic but it might be time for a new environment. Not all work place environments are bad.
Itâs good that despite your difficult experiences with work, you know there are some good people out there! The challenge is finding them. The more good people in your life and the fewer bad people in your life the better!
HelcatParticipantHi Sharon!
Iâm sorry that things are difficult for you at the moment. If you want to talk about what is happening we are hear to listen!
I have been in some dark places before and found it difficult to motivate myself to do every day activities.
What helped me complete housework was considering reasons why I wanted to complete each task. This helped motivate me to do them.
For example, I have dogs. If I donât tidy up there would be trash lying around that the dogs would play with and potentially try to eat.
Whatever reason that is meaningful to you is ideal.
It was also important for me to prioritise tasks and goals. It can be overwhelming thinking of all the responsibilities, chores and goals you want to achieve in the future.
Consider what you want to get done today. My husband sometimes says if you get 30% of what you planned to do done, that is a good day.
Itâs very important to forgive yourself if you donât achieve everything that you want to do in a day.
I think itâs important to gradually increase the number of tasks you plan to do in a day. Consider how many tasks and activities you are currently achieving in a day. Then try adding one more. Do that every day and when you are ready commit to achieving an additional task.
Patience is really important because it can take a long time to achieve important goals. Punishing yourself for every day that you donât achieve it is no way to live. Comparing your progress to others is never helpful either.
HelcatParticipantI really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experiences too!
What you shared is really interesting. It is well known that religion provided moral structure for people. But in times before psychologists, psychiatrists and pharmacology they provided a level of emotional support. Itâs a very good reminder!
Another thing I remember reading about perspective is that you can go on vacation and visit Paris yet never know the true nature of Paris. You can live in Paris for many years and still never know the reality of Paris.
My interpretation of this is how our unique individual perspectives do not allow us to see reality which is probably composed of  everyoneâs experience of Paris.
HelcatParticipantMy husband was the one who introduced me to Buddhism. He has been blessed to meet many teachers. The most accomplished teacher he worked with was able to experience thought for only 20% of the day.
Often, my husband says if we were meant to be monks we would have been born monks. Perhaps whatever experiences we are meant to have as laymen are enough? The lessons we experience are the ones we are meant to learn. Who is to say, maybe you will have that experience again when the time is right?
Another element of the concept of nonself might be helpful here. I believe again this is from The Heart of Buddhaâs Teaching. Even anything we see is considered an illusion. What we see is light and the way our brains interpret it. Our sight is limited and the brain will take liberty to fill in the gaps. Our every day experiences as humans are considered illusionary because they are the  experiences of our bodies. If we continue before and after death, and our bodies and all the experiences that go with it die. What remains?
HelcatParticipantFor many the practice detachment has been a about detachment from desire. No desire = no suffering. Probably true only I donât see how such a practice of detachment would not end in indifference and or unconsciousness.
I have been reading The Heart of Buddhaâs Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh. The way that he describes overcoming attachment is beautiful. He suggests that rather than indifference it involves loving everyone equally. To me the idea of nonself (I hope that I am using this correctly) is relevant to because it addresses grasping. If we are all part of each other we have nothing to lose. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying shares this concept of nonself too. Anyone we spend time with will become a part of us. As for developing compassion and empathy for people that we donât have relationships they suggest recognising that we all have Buddha nature within us.
âTo joyfully participate in the sorrows of the worldâ. So far every wisdom tradition I have come across asks that question. Can you engage fully in life, as it is, the wonder and the horror joyfully? Can that be Love? My intuition is that a experience of enlightenment would involve such a realization.
Many Buddhist monks are from countries that experienced war so they have written a lot about this subject specifically. They discuss empathising with the soldiers killing their loved ones. Understanding that they are often conscripted with no choice but to participate in war. Not to mention, they may be punished severely if they attempt to desert. Soldiers are considered pawns, not the agents perpetuating the war. Also, we all know the devastating impact on mental health that being a soldier can have. In this way, they were able to love the enemy harming them. Many monks who were imprisoned and punished for their beliefs chose to see that as an excellent opportunity to deepen their practice.
Tsoknyi Rinpoche shared that many masters have ego and it is a normal healthy part of being a person. His suggestion was to watch the ego and not let it drive action.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Helcat.
HelcatParticipantHi Ana
Iâm very sorry that you experienced child abuse with your parents. You didnât deserve it, every child deserves loving parents and to be protected!
From experience, I can tell you that trauma therapy could be of great benefit to you. Even though it feels this way at the moment, you are definitely not broken.
It sounds like you experience a lot of anxiety as a result of your past. Do you do any self-care to lower your levels of anxiety?
Humans can develop a negativity bias. Gratitude practice might seem simple, but in time it can develop a new outlook.
Good luck with your aptitude test! I think your goal of getting a new apartment and a dog will bring you a lot of good experiences.
HelcatParticipantHi Peter!
Jiddu Krishnamurti has a very interesting definition of enlightenment. He describes enlightenment using a concept of violence and non-violence. If a violent feeling arises and is surpressed this creates conflict.
He considers enlightenment to be viewing emotions without judgement or thought. This IMMEDIATE action of non-judgment without thought as feelings arise is considered to be enlightenment. This immediacy is very important because it would mean that you already have to be in a state of meditation as feelings arise otherwise thoughts, attachment and conflict would occur.
He also suggests that anyone claiming to be enlightened is not, as ego is what claims enlightenment.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.
HelcatParticipantHi Eric
If you say âHi!â in passing usually when you first see someone that day that is a very suitable interaction. You would not need to continue the conversation afterwards. Perhaps try consistently saying hello since you are having difficulty with conversation?
I appreciate that you have severe anxiety. Unfortunately, when you avoid a situation due to anxiety it reinforces the fear of the situation. This happens because you feel relieved and safe after avoiding the situation triggering difficult feelings which confirms in your mind that there was indeed something to fear and avoid in that scenario.
Stage 2 is moving onto saying âHey how are you doing?â.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.
HelcatParticipantHi Deci
Who knew that the Tibetan Book of the Dead, while being a valuable incentive for those living during a time of death and dying without the will to enlightenment, also serves as a reference and source of comfort for the living in terms of its provisional tenets at a time of social loss, must, as well, be seen as a last-ditch device for the dying by its upholding the possibility of sudden enlightenment for those with the karmic potential at the time of their death, in order to see essence without needlessly having to experience the bardic realm when the veil between Creation and Nonorigination finally dissolves.
This is a reductive perspective which honestly seems dismissive of well respected books written by well respected masters. Isnât it possible that monks trained in Buddhism for their lives actually have a deeper understanding than a layman?
Youâre right Buddhism didnât invent enlightenment. Many generations of Buddhist practitioners just dedicated their lives to chronicling the process because the main principles involve overcoming suffering and should be shared with humanity. Even suffering itself is based on perspective. If you alter your perspective you no longer suffer. Though this might require action or acceptance.
From experience, I can understand that it can take practice to get to a state of non-practice. A beginner at meditation may struggle to sit and do nothing due to the discomfort with thoughts originating from their own mind. Personally, I struggled to do breathing meditation initially due to trauma. I had to learn other kinds of meditation before I was comfortable enough with the practice to overcome that trauma response. It is very difficult for people to incorporate mindfulness into their everyday lives without practicing meditation.
April 24, 2022 at 8:25 am in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #398746HelcatParticipantSorry for the late reply, itâs been busy!
The dog I know with Cushingâs disease also ended up developing muscle wasting in the back legs. Fortunately, no epilepsy has developed so far. Something unique happened with the skin, which the vet had never seen before. Instead of hair loss, patches of raw open wounds spontaneously developed. Medication has helped the with the skin heal, as well as relieving thirst and frequent urination.
I agree, itâs amazing what we can do for our own health and the health of our pets these days.
My momâs dog tried CBD oil which is similar to hemp seed oil. It was mildly helpful for pain relief but gabapentin which the vet prescribed was more effective for severe pain.
Iâm glad that your vet can assist you with the light therapy. I hope all goes well! Please keep us updated on how your pup responds to medication and light therapy.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.
HelcatParticipantHi Lloyd!
Sorry for the late reply, itâs been busy!
What you shared makes a lot of sense to me. Iâve certainly had similar experiences with depression.
I think youâre on the right path! I have faith that you will be able to overcome the challenges that you are currently facing in time.
Considering the trauma that you have experienced the emotional pain you are in makes sense. It takes time to heal and recover from these experiences. It is okay to not feel okay.
My perspective on happiness is that itâs like many ordinary moments you experience in your daily routine. Except emotions and thoughts have settled and are clear. Without this weighing you down there is a chance to experience happiness and appreciate beauty.
Humans have a negativity bias, so it can be difficult to notice good moments when things are challenging. Gratitude practice can be helpful for drawing our attention to positive experiences throughout our day. Have you tried this before? If so, did you find it helpful?
- This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.
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