Hi Mindy

You are in my prayers. 🙏

I’m glad that you have found things that help. Your therapist sounds like a great one. I love her advice. I’m glad you have your sweet kitties taking care of you.

You are so thoughtful, caring and wise. Everything you need is already inside of you.

I think crying given the situation is understandable, it’s an important part of the grieving process. You are right though, your health is important. It’s a delicate balance. I’m sure your wisdom will help guide you through these trying times.

Please continue to reach out any time you would like to.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏

Hi Eric

I think one main gift either the handbag or the bracelet is enough. But you could maybe do something on the side smaller like flowers or chocolate or something like that.

You said that your partner uses social media. Does she have her relationship status on her account? If not you might want to have a conversation with her before making changes.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to tell friends. It’s not like your relationship is a secret. I’m sure they’d want you to be happy.

Or is it a secret? Why are you hiding it? Haven’t got around to announcing it yet? Is it because of anxiety? Or because you were asked to?

Hi Mindy

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of the anniversaries of deaths of family members at the moment. My heart goes out to you. It all sounds very fresh, raw and painful. Your plan of trying to get through this period without losing your mind is a good one. Sometimes life is so difficult, that is all we can ask.

I hope that you lean on your therapist and access additional mental health services as appropriate. I know that I have needed to do so myself during difficult anniversaries (a different situation).

You don’t deserve all of the pain you experience. Even the people who are treating you badly you have discussed with empathy, kindness and compassion. Your kindness is a light in this world.

Would it be okay if I prayed for you?

Hi Eric

Watching a stand up comedy show sounds like a great idea. A bracelet sounds more romantic.

Meditation doesn’t necessarily take much time. When starting out people often recommend to do it for a short amount of time like 5 mins. If you get frustrated at any point it’s suggested to take a break and come back to it later.

Sometimes people find that they prefer to do it for longer amounts of time as opposed to shorter. I found it difficult to calm down initially and ended up practicing for longer periods to overcome that.

It’s great to hear that people can wish death upon all of humanity and that’s acceptable in a community where people are supposed to be respectful.

Hi Lorn

Their advice is that dating makes it easier to stop these habits. Is that something that you would like to pursue?

Hi Lorn

Hang tight! I know the perfect person to ask for advice about this. They’ve overcome their issues with desires. I’m sure they’ll be able to give some feedback tomorrow.

It sounds like the habit is pretty engrained and deeply associated with sleep. It would probably take a lot of time and effort to adapt to a new bedtime routine. Please be patient with yourself.

I would suggest reading some information about sleep hygiene and developing a routine that suits you.

Anxiety was a problem for me at bedtime. Over the years I’ve used different techniques.

Meditation might be better used at night once you’re more confident in your practice. It might be an idea to meditate during the day while developing the skill.

Non-repetitive music and melatonin (careful not to overdo this one though) helped me during periods of insomnia. Eventually, I developed an anxiety reducing routine. Lighting a scented candle, music on, grab a soft toy to cuddle. But anything that helps you relax and / or reduces anxiety could be helpful in a sleep hygiene routine. Nowadays, I do progressive muscle relaxation, a gratitude journal and meditation. For difficult nights, I find audiobooks helpful.