Dan, it will get better. It does get better. It will always get better. What you describe sounds like serious depression, which (like any physical illness) will get much worse without treatment. Is there someone you can talk to—whether one-on-one with a therapist or in a group (CBT, etc)? Most colleges offer counseling, often free. Having been there myself, I know what a relief it is to talk to someone who gets it and can help you find your way back to yourself. With the depth of despair I hear in your post, it sounds like talking to a professional would help lift you out of the pit.

Good luck.