This morning called and told me about fixing a date for mutual divorce I said ok to this. He was may be saying all this on purpose to make me feel bad and go back to him but his trick didn’t work so he went to my dad’s home when I was at work and created a drama there and called me and said me not live with my parents or his. He is dectating me to live alone at my new home and he won’t disturb me so I will become self efficient and not depend on others. He also told my and his dad that I don’t know any household work and that I not physically capable to do any work by myself. But in reality I am the one going to work and earning money and also doing household work. Sometimes I get tired and in hurry I skip some work.He on the other hand is jobless and helps in household work only when feels like. I am always tagged lazy by him. He takes money from me for paying certain household expenses and sometimes ends up getting drunk with that money And at times abuses me. why he is behaving in such way. I am unable to understand his sttitude and his aspirations in life.

His and my dad both are saying not to stay with him. When he came to know that I called his dad and told him about what happened he warned me of not involving his dad or I ll have to face consequences. I am not planning to have child with him. And my family is very supportive. My parents are letting me stay with them as long as I want. And yes I fortunately I have another house of my own too. But staying there alone can be dangerous if he continues behaving this way.
I am very thankful to you Anita for being help and suggesting me on this issue.

Thanks anita,
sorry but i am struggling to understand wat exactly AA is. I m from India. Is it available here? Even if it where should I find it. And moreover I don’t think he will actually visit such place or take treatment.Forget about taking treatment, I don’t think he is even regretting his actions. Whenever such things happen he will show as if what he did was right and would actually say that when he is sober too. That is because may be he wants to show that he doesn’t do what he did because he was drunk and he was very much in his senses. When I ask him was physical abuse needed? He would say he doesn’t remember beating me. Even after that he would still support his behaviour by saying that I shouldn’t have made him that angry and also say that when he is angry he is out of control. He is so good at playing with words and sometimes speaking illogical non sense that I have started giving up arguing with him. My dad was shocked by hearing that he was talking such extreme things like divorce, second marriage, committing suicide and asking me to leave the house on such small issues. And I know all his games by now and know that all of these he says because he only wants to blackmail me emotionally. When in our last fight he slapped me I said him to use his mouth instead of hands and in a fit of anger he started preparing to hang himself to the ceiling. I was worried and wanted to stop him but when I would go near he would threaten to hit me. That’s why I didn’t stop him. But then he actually didn’t commit suicide.Later he was telling me about his sudden realisation about how second marriage would be better than committing suicide and asked me to leave.Even I wanted to leave the house immediately because I was not interested in getting myself in a situation where drama is involved. I was with my mom and sister the whole evening and he was on purpose acusing me of cheating on him and asking me with whom I was, simply to make me angry and make me argue with him but I didn’t, instead I went for my things and left immediately. I think I did the best thing possible at that moment. He acuses me of ruining his life when actually he is the one who is ruining mine by doing all this just for the sake of showing that he is the incharge and this is what he is going to do when things are not running on his terms. Now he is asking me to leave my parents and in return he will give up on drinking. First when he thought what he did my friends knew he would ask me to stop talking with them as well and in return he would give up on drinking. I never did stop contacting my friends. He did all these to isolate me and to make sure no one apart from him is influencing my thought process. When I am out of my house for work or anything I have learned to put a smile on my face on make everyone belive that I am living the best life anyone could imagine, I make people around me laugh and create a light environment. Nobody knows how broken I was just a day before. May be even this helps me stay happy and not keep myself emotionally dependent on his actions. His mood swings would barely touch me when I around other people. And some who knows what I am going through feels sorry for me. Writing my story down here and getting some solution from you people would be great. After all atleast I would not regret telling my story here and would not have to worry about getting judged by actual people in my life.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by happyendings.