Hi Eliana,

Thanks for the response. We have always been very open with our feelings, and promised each other than no matter what we were feeling, we would tell the other person. If I’m depressed, I shouldn’t have to hide that from my boyfriend just because men don’t like drama. He’s my boyfriend, and should support me through what I’m going through…like I’ve done for him in the past. He’s had anxiety attacks that I’ve supported him through. I don’t see having anxiety or depression as drama…it’s part of life, and a huge part of something that should be shared with your partner. We’ve been together over a year, so if I can’t share that with him, then I guess I’d rather be single. He has gone through a lot in his life, that I’ve been there for to support him through. I never saw it as drama or overwhelming. I saw it as my boyfriend needed his girlfriend to help him.

Anita,

He has gotten angry at me telling me to “just get over my past like an adult.” When I asked him if I bring out the worst in him, he said “yes because no one else makes him mad like I do.” Other examples are: “I have to sit here and be ok with your anxiety, when it just ends up costing me more money.” (It was in reference to a cabin getaway and I calmly asked if we could get a bigger cabin instead of a tiny thing you could barely walk around in and sometimes I have trouble sleeping. When I went on a work trip, he had an outburst on the phone and told me I should just go be single and alone and he refused to be happy for me and my trip. He has told me he likes my family so I invited him out to my parents house to hang out and he snapped back and said he refuses to subject himself to that treatment and is sick of just “fitting in”. When I was sick last weekend and couldn’t do our plans, he got mad and when I asked for some compassion, he said there’s no way to be compassionate over text. Um, sure there is. A simple “hope you feel better” or ” can I bring you anything?” Would have been enough. We live 30 minutes apart and sometimes it’s easier to meet somewhere (for a movie or whatever) and he refuses. He said that’s not normal and I need to learn how to adjust. Yeah, I know but there’s a nicer way to say things. He has also called his therapist “legit hot” and talked about about her ina sexual way with his friend. Sure, he may have been joking but I was offended and disrespected. He always seems to find a way to turn things around on to me.