Hi Susannah,

No one will be able to understand what you are feeling.

No one’s hurting is the same as another’s.

Don’t be angry at yourself for still loving your ex-fiance. You can’t change how you feel for someone and you shouldn’t try to block out your emotions. Distractions are just that; distractions. They won’t take away your feelings.

What it sounds as though you are looking for, is love. We all need love and compassion. But we don’t need to look to others for this.

You need to accept your feelings and you need to give yourself some of the love that you are missing in your life.

You’re dealing with an incredibly difficult set of circumstances and you are doing well. Carrying on with life when you feel like your world has stopped spinning is no easy task and you should remind yourself how proud you feel about that.

Take pride in the things you are doing, and praise yourself for your own achievements. Remind yourself what your personal goals and wants are or at least were, and seek them out. Remember to take note with every small step you take.

Let go of the anger you have towards yourself for choosing to be with this man. You haven’t done anything wrong and you have no reason to resent yourself for feeling love. Redirect that love to yourself.

Remember that if you start to hate yourself, then you won’t be able to accept love from anyone.

Stay strong x