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Hang Do

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  • July 24, 2016 at 8:50 am in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110402
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Should i follow what you and he said that:”I would say that the right way to love someone, the right way to live is the active way, to make things happen your way best you can instead of waiting for things to happen your way, hoping and waiting and dreaming.” and that “You are #1 and do what you have to do to get what you want.”???
    My heart tells me to chasing him but my mind advise me to let everything be natural and i should not go to his life then maybe i unintentionally would cause something affecting to his relationship with his gf.

    July 24, 2016 at 8:41 am in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110400
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Dear Anita,
    Here are his replies:
    1/”Well, I can say that I really enjoyed myself with you also. With that being very clear, I did not expect to meet someone so smart and so beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside. You are very smart and have great potential. As you have said, the distance thing is an issue and it would not be fair to either one of us to split our heart a cross continents. I currently do have a girlfriend in the U.S., but she lives in my house in …. Before I left on vacation she visited … for a week and we were fighting a lot. I do love her and she loves me, but I do not think that things will work out. I want the best for her, because that’s who I am. I want the best for everyone. Facebook is a terrible thing sometimes I think, because it causes more issues in relationships more than not with jealousy and so forth. I gave you my Facebook expecting these questions. As I told you before, I hate planning things and you even told me not to say anything or make promises that might become compromised. So the long distance thing is difficult as you know. I am so glad that I had the chance to meet you and the experience was very genuine for me as well as everything I said to you. I do not want to tell you, ” yes!, Let’s be in relationship,” because it would not be fair to you. I’m sorry that you met me, because I don’t think either one of us expected this. You are the first girl that I actually met off that dating site. I’m not sure how your experience has been on that site or how other guys treated you, but I was falling in love with you and did not have those intentions when meeting you. Like I said before, “you kill me,” because my mind is so torn between what I want to do (be with you) and what I have to do ( go home and work hard to pay off my bills). I want you to continue doing what you have to do to be happy. Even if you still talk to guys on that site that’s cool. Besides, as you have experienced, I have a high sex drive and I like a lot of sexual things, but I think that you are very conservative sexually.

    I think we should keep in contact, because I really enjoy who you are. We should not commit to anything, because we do not want to disappoint ourselves remember. If you do decide to keep talking with guys on that site, do not let them treat you any less than I did. You are a great person and deserve the best. As you have said yourself, never rely on someone else. You are #1 and do what you have to do to get what you want. Wish you were here now”
    2/ “So the other girls on my Facebook were my gf’s before. I have signed back into that site only to check emails that I have gotten and delete on my email. There are plenty of girls here if I want that, but no girl here will have what we had even though we knew each other less than a week it seemed like years???? Haha. Do not shelter your self and spend too much time at home thinking about all of this because it will only make you depressed. Go out, have fun, and be active. I miss you”

    Please show me what should i do now?

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 4 months ago by Hang Do.
    July 24, 2016 at 8:10 am in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110398
    Hang Do
    Participant

    dear anita,
    might i email you his reply in personally? because it is privacy so i do not want to post it here. then we can come back to discuss further here.

    July 23, 2016 at 9:36 pm in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110388
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    Thank you so much for your help 🙂 your editing is great in both grammar and content. i appreciate that.
    I wonder should i ask him why he still accesses that dating site and should i keep patient more and send this email later? when is the most suitable time ?

    July 23, 2016 at 1:14 pm in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110374
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Thank you Anita. so i am writing an email below, hope you can help me

    ” Dear Josh,
    Being with you for a few beautiful days is really wonderful time to me which i hadn’t had for a long time. i was so happy when you said i am special and you really like me. What you’ve done, the single word you’ve said are so meant to me. But now you are far away and i am struggling with myself: should i develop this relationship with you? i DO WANT TO but how about you? do you want to make it out with me, too? The followings is why i ask these questions:

    1/One year and a half ago, i met an Irish guy via that dating site too. after coming back to Ireland, he and i still kept in touch but he did not come back as what he said. He wanted to keep in touch with me, saying missing me but it seemed that he didn’t make effort to see me. Our relationship leaded to nowhere. Now you understand why i did not let you say you will come back to see me.

    2/ I have just taken a look to your Facebook page, i’m sorry but i suddenly had the uncomfortable feeling when seeing your photos with some girls. i guessed one of them is your ex girlfriend. By the time on those pics, i think your breaking up was just a short time ago. And i am curious if you still love her or not. I know not much about Western relationships. As you said, you came to Vn for travelling not falling in love and that you did not expect me. And now we are still keeping in touch but when you come back to the life in the US, then maybe you will date, so should i know this? and what our relationship is in that time?

    The time we were together was so short and we didn’t have much time to talk about each other. This email is partly considered the opportunity for us to know more about each other. Can you tell me what you think and how you feel about me? and do you have suggestions for our relationship if you also want to develop it as i do? Not future plan or sth like that because we can not predict or handle what will happen. i just want to know your thoughts, your feelings.”

    July 23, 2016 at 12:15 pm in reply to: The other woman #110370
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Honestly, i do not understand much about Western relationships. Can people date with others while they are still in relationships with some ones?
    i think if you really like him and want to develop your relationship, you should ask him to make clear about that woman. i mean he should break up with her first then be your boyfriend officially later. so how did you feel when he told you about that woman?

    July 23, 2016 at 10:31 am in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110367
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Should i just talk all of what i am thinking to him? i am so angry with myself, why i cannot control my emotions, why i am thinking too much, why i am so sensitive….i am so afraid of saying goodbye with someone i like and i am obsessed with the picture that the one i like is with some other girls. I am so disappointed with myself; being hurt so many times but i cannot learn a lesson. Why i am always in passive situation…i am a fool in love. i have experienced lots of relationships but i do not know how to love someone in a right way.

    July 23, 2016 at 7:52 am in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110330
    Hang Do
    Participant

    My feeling and emotions for this guy are stronger than for the Irish. i did prepare for the time he was leaving Vn, i thought it would be so normal because i had experienced this feeling several times before but i was so down. the morning before he left, i was so surprised when his eyes were ready to cry. I cried then too. i was so confused. Maybe you are right, i should communicate with him about his feeling about me.

    July 23, 2016 at 7:45 am in reply to: what should i do with this relationship? #110329
    Hang Do
    Participant

    dear anita,

    The way i met the Irish guy and this American is quite same but my feelings, my emotions for each of them is different. That’s why i do not expect my relationship with this guy is the same with the Irish man (leads to nowhere). i have to admit that i am attracted by Western men after suffering lots of hurts with ex Vietnamese boyfriends. From them, i have learnt a lot, i feel peaceful, be treasured (in spite of short time).

    About my stuck life, after sharing my story here, i feel better a lot. i am no longer dreaming of being a blogger, i am focus on what i am doing. My sister and i are doing final step to preparing launching our online shop of clothing. I can earn money from that and support for my studying. so i am not so negative like before. And i have never ever thought that the reason i wanna be with him is to moving to the US. i know nothing for sure right now.

    July 11, 2016 at 8:19 am in reply to: I am deeply stuck with myself #109389
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Thank you so much Anita. I hope i am lucky enough to make money from the job i like. There is still a fact that sometimes people have to earn money from the jobs they do not like but they have to go with it for living and some reason else. anyway, i believe i can do it.

    July 11, 2016 at 8:14 am in reply to: How do you stop falling into sadness after a breakup? #109388
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Dear Rocccks,
    I used t be in your position and i decided to overcome it by facing with it and i made it. I chose to be with my family and friends, i had no time to think of them anymore because i had love from my loved people around me. hope you escape from the sadness soon.

    Hang

    July 11, 2016 at 1:19 am in reply to: Breaking Up-Do I hold on or let go #109372
    Hang Do
    Participant

    i am sorry for not finishing reading the whole of your post because i just need to stop by the saying :”Financially, I made more money so I was the one always paying the bills and handling the everyday important things in our lives, while he just blew his minimal money that he made every week” then i can know partly how this man is. I am sorry for saying this but i think he had used you. you need to be thankful because now he cannot use you and you will never be hurt anymore.
    there were so many guys breaking up with me, i was deeply hurt but now i am really appreciated for that. i thought if i had continued being with them, how my life was now? and how could i met good men and dated them. I always believe and remember Buddha’s saying:” To give up is to be happy”. ( I just translate from Vietnamese into English so hope you understand what i mean)

    BE STRONG, BE HAPPY

    July 11, 2016 at 1:06 am in reply to: I am deeply stuck with myself #109371
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    About the thing i refused their offer was because beside teaching at school, i also need to teach at students’places. Of course the school will give me small trip fee like for petrol but i felt my energy should be deserved a bit more. I considered that wage per each lesson they offered me was low because other school offered me with the same wage while i just need to teach at schools, no where else (the reason i declined this school was the school is located in suburban, very far from my place, i just figured out when attending the interview)

    July 11, 2016 at 12:54 am in reply to: I am deeply stuck with myself #109369
    Hang Do
    Participant

    Dear Keri,

    Thank you for reading my confidence. I will think about what you advised me for sure. At least now i do not think about blogging much. i should be myself. And yes, i am still continuing applying.
    Have a nice day Keri!

    Hang

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