I didn’t think the problems were that extreme until you provided much more details and the details are important. It is ok to still have love for someone (the person you initially fell for) but if that person has caused you to lose yourself, then that is a whole other problem. Based on reading your comments to the other readers, it really seems you have moved on. It is a wonderful thing to talk out problems to come to realize YOU had all the answers you just needed a shoulder. It is really important to love yourself. I have had to make my own closure many times (i don’t even ask the man why) because most men will not want to burn bridges or hurt our feelings, and most women make excuses for men. I had to learn to think about my feelings and why the person doesn’t deserve me and make my own closure. So, you may love him for the rest of your life but there is someone out there more deserving of your love in a healthy way. Also, the part relating to your father, you are looking for that father figure, but now you need a man who is your equal, who isn’t afraid of commitment and who will love you and show his love to you and will not be willing to be right in an argument but want to work out issues and move on. If the man you meet leaves like your father, then he wasn’t worth being in your world. A relationship is a team effort. One of the hardest things for some people is to say “I’m sorry.” Find a humble man who knows he will make mistakes and you will then have a good thing. I have a good feeling you will find him. When you find that new good man, don’t stop doing the things that make your happy and continue to make coffee/tea breaks with friends to keep in touch, if your new man cant accept the things that keep you happy, move on quickly. I hope you will let us know when you find someone. Be well, Hadassah