What I hear from your first post is blame and worthiness concerns. I just want to let you know that no matter how you try to justify any actions of this relationship it doesn’t matter. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to be respected, you are also so worthy of freedom from this attachment! I know I have gone through a traumatic separation from a thought to be loved one and I would not let go of the attachment. I felt completely unworthy of love and told myself I would never find anyone to love me ever again, not to mention the thought that there is just something wrong with me (of course my old partner would affirm this to be true too). I learned the hard way that she wanted nothing to do with me and her ego was completely engaged to prove that I was valued lower than hers to help her move on and I absorbed her cruel words about me to be my truth ( God I wish I didn’t). Because I had such low self esteem at that time her words about my became my reality about myself, and I felt lower than low.

Not until I could come to grips with that I needed to let go and detach did I start to see any light at all at the end of the tunnel. I wanted to control the situation or rework it to have different endings, or just wanted to be understood, forcing her to see things differently. This caused panic attacks, deep depressions, and complete disconnect from a normal life. I just want to let you know that this does turn around, and through repetition of affirmation work, counselling, and internal gruelling work on myself it all began to turn around. You are worth a new chapter in your life, and if you do the work with help and guidance you will be able to separate from these brutal feelings and thoughts that just aren’t true.

Where ever you are, I send you love and a warm smile of encouragement =)