Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
growingthrulifeParticipant
Hey Annie, I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve lost your job. Micro-managers can be one of the most toxic aspects of the modern workplace – it’s also a reflection on their need to exert control (often this happens because they don’t experience any empowerment in their own roles). Please keep in mind though, you’re not a bad employee, you were in the wrong career/job (I wrote an article on this not long ago from the company’s perspective https://medium.com/@jjwang.au/not-a-bad-employee-just-the-wrong-career-7e4354187f6f)
I think it’s a great opportunity to take stock of what’s going on in your life, and if the opportunity is there, to pursue your interests and your hobbies in the form of further study/self-improvement. Take it one day at a time, and speak to people to help you boost your self-esteem and recognise your strengths!
growingthrulifeParticipantHey there, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. This is something that’s happened to me personally, as well as friends and colleagues of mine.
When you’re stuck in the midst of hating your career, it can become all encompassing, taking over your life – your career is linked so closely to your identity and when you’ve been “faking it till you make it”, it’s no wonder you’re facing such a predicament. But remember, you’re not trapped and you’ll never be trapped. You have talents, skills, experiences, knowledge and passions, it may be just be hard for you to recognise them right now.
In modern society, we also fall into the trap of becoming slaves to our assets – I found it really helpful to work out what “essentials” I need financially, and worked backwards from there before embarking on my career change. I’m embarassed to say that throughout an 8 year professional “successful” career, I managed to acquire 58 pairs of shoes. Since quitting my corporate job, I’ve purchased one additional pair and that was out of necessity as all my old sneakers were no longer wearable. It just goes to show that the amount of money I thought I needed was not reality – instead I was purchasing goods as an attempt to seek fulfillment.
Do you have a chance to take a holiday / a break from your current job? I really recommend that you take some time off for you. Get to know yourself again, find out what matters to you (not your parents!), determine your superpowers that you can offer to the world and start paving a way towards that goal.
February 20, 2017 at 5:53 pm in reply to: I have an interview tomorrow and I'm freaking out. #128565growingthrulifeParticipantHey sf211, I’m sorry to hear you’re freaking out about your interview tomorrow! I actually wrote an article about this not long ago – see below.
5 Tips to Beat Interview Anxiety
Interviewing can be crippling. The thought of having to go into a room with strangers and talk about yourself for an extended period of time, putting on a song and dance to impress people you donât even know, may make you want to pull a sickie (…for the rest of your life).
Sometimes it doesnât matter how many âtell me aboutâŚâ examples are prepared, strengths and weaknesses analysed and practiced, you still have trouble sleeping the night before, fearing that once you walk into that room, your mouth dries up and hands get sweaty, but worst of all, your mind goes blank.
Here are my 5 tips to help you overcome this fear.
Tip 1: Understanding what youâre good at and why
Often we feel like what weâre doing at work is just keeping things afloat – delivering to deadlines, attending team meetings, going to client briefs etc. This can feel like weâre constantly in âmaintenanceâ mode, not âachievementâ mode.
Thatâs why itâs important to:
– Establish which aspects of your job youâre good at â What do you do at work? How do you go about it? Are there significant challenges youâve tackled? What was the final result?
– Back this up with evidence â $ value, % improvements, # people/sites/processes, period of time â anything to quantify the above will help
– Eg. Iâm good with people and leading a team, like when I led my team to meet our monthly sales target. I assessed each personâs strengths and weaknesses, made sure the right mix of skills were rostered for each shift and I tailored my coaching approach accordingly. We exceeded our sales targets by 30% that month.Tip 2: Practice and Validate
Using the information from Tip 1, formulate these into sentences to capture the What, When and How:
– What: I am good at X – this can be a technical skill eg. âprogrammingâ, or a competency eg. âinfluencing peopleâ or âprioritising and multi-taskingâ
– When: I accomplished this during X, Y and Z (eg. A project, incident, initiative, etc.)
– How: The steps I took were X, Y and Z â break this down into small chunks, eg. I systematically prepare reports like the *insert name* report, by clarifying the brief, analyse data using excel modelling to define trends, etc.Tip 3: Itâs not âsellingâ if itâs the truth
Selling yourself during an interview can feel daunting and intimidating (it might even make you feel like a douchebag). But think about a situation when youâve had a conversation about a topic youâre familiar with. The conversation flows, you know facts and figures to back up what youâre saying, and (hopefully) you donât sound like a douchebag.
Now that you know what youâre good at, can provide examples, and have the numbers to back yourself up – when you’re interviewing, youâre simply telling the truth, not “selling” yourself. The panel will see and feel the genuine difference in your delivery.
Is it still a performance? Well kind of, you still need to present yourself in the best light, but you know how amazing you are now, which should surely be a confidence booster.Tip 4: Understand what happens during an interview.. and why
Interviewing can feel like an ambush⌠thereâs at least 4 eyes on you, sometimes 8 if youâre really unlucky. It was only until I went to quite a few (and eventually ended up on the other side of the table) that a pattern emerged.
The interview process is somewhat predictable:– Arrive at interview location, sit and wait
– Get greeted by someone in HR, then led into a room to meet the other sets of eyes.
– Some unavoidable awkward small talk about weather or footy.
– Get asked some general questions like â Why do you want to work for us? and Tell us about your experience? etc.
– Get asked at least 3 âtell me about a timeâ (behavioural based) questions
– Then you get an opportunity to ask some (smart) questionsIf you think about it, by the time youâre invited to an interview, youâve passed the initial screening stage â they like your experience and your skills. So the purpose of the interview is to meet you in person and ascertain if youâre the right person for the job. In other words – are you the right âfitâ, and youâre assessed on things like:
– Do you talk, or act, in a way which will fit into our company?
– Do we think that youâll get along with the people in our company?
– Can you actually do what youâre saying you can do?
– Do you have the right âimageâ? (Discrimination is illegal but please, dress the part â first impressions do count)Knowing the format of interviews can inform you on how to prepare your answers, who the interviewers are and what the interviewers are looking for.
Tip 5: Interviewing is a two-way process (not one)
This is often one of the biggest mistakes people make â yes, youâre being assessed during an interview, however itâs also YOUR opportunity to assess them.
I remember trying to land my first gig after uni, and times when I was desperate to leave my job and spread my wings, but before too long I came to an important realisation – just like it takes time to find the right partner in life, it takes time to find the right company for me.
Remember the things youâre being assessed on in Tip 4? Use LinkedIn to find out more about your interviewers and who works there. Check out Glassdoor to find out interview questions and company reviews. Get your head around the companyâs key challenges (or opportunities).
Prepare a list of questions you want to ask â not just for the obligatory sake of asking questions, but to satisfy your own curiosity.
If career progression is important for you, donât be shy to ask about the companyâs internal promotion rate. If youâre passionate about the environment, you could ask what the companyâs commitment is to reduce their carbon emissions.Final tips
Sometimes, even when you prepare and practice for an interview, nerves can kick in. Here are some final tips to beat those nerves:
– Bring in your own bottle of water (just make sure itâs not an old, wrinkled bottle). Having something on the table thatâs yours can offer a sense of security. Plus it helps alleviate a dry mouth.
– Let the interviewers know youâre nervous, in most cases theyâll soften their approach and might even prompt you during the interview so you can provide clearer answers.
– If you donât know how to answer a question, ask them to repeat it. This buys you some additional thinking time. Remember: youâre also allowed to pause to think (just not for too long!)
– Slow down your breathing, and breathe deep. Shallow breathing exacerbates anxiety.Good luck on your interview, believe in yourself and your ability to add value.
growingthrulifeParticipantI’m sorry to hear about your loss Stine.
I think it’s important you break this negative cycle, first place to start would be having a new focus in life. Maybe put your efforts into your career, or friendships, or hobbies, etc. When something is so front and centre all the time, it can take over your life.
Where do you think the short-falls in your confidence are stemmed from?
growingthrulifeParticipantHi Stine
Where are you meeting these guys? Maybe the places you’re finding them aren’t the right places for you.
What else is important in your life to you, besides finding a guy?
growingthrulifeParticipantHi jmont. It’s great that you’re seeking support in a time of grief.
Just know that what you’re feeling is natural, that most people have gone through this at one stage or another. I went through bad breakups during my early 20s and it felt earth shattering.I am just so sad
Of course you are sweetie, you’re not just losing your best friend, you’re losing the life you had the last 2 years. Just know that you are grieving and you’re going through a grieving period. You’ve done really well removing him off social media, try your best to not engage in conversations or ask about how hes going through mutual friends – in fact if you can, tell your mutual friends/friends to not talk about him around you. This will help you. Otherwise the wound will take much longer to heal, as each time you hear about him it’ll be like scratching that scab off and the wound will need to reheal.
What helped me was to slowly but surely rebuild my life, piece by piece. My job/career was stable, so I focused on “filling” in the time with other things – seeing friends, exercising, painting. I was also in desperate need to find myself again – so much of my life had been with this one person, and another person before him. So I needed to find out who I was as a person – what I enjoyed, what my values are, what I stood for, what was important to me.
This might feel like it’s too big to handle right now, but all you need to do is take some small steps, and get through each day.
-
AuthorPosts