I wAant to tell you I’m going through something similar. Good for you for staying strong! Grieving a relationship was described to me as being like walking along a beach by the ocean… The waves come up and overwhelm you, and them they fade back into the sea. This will happen many times…so when you are sad and those feelings come, let it flow over you and accept the sadness (I’ve cried too this Christmas) knowing it will flow back out to sea. I haven’t always done a very good job of keeping distance, and I’ve found that when I do “cave” and contact him it causes a lot of stress… Waiting for the response, stressing, analyzing every word. I feel like I gives my power to him and my emotions are dependent on his response. It is only over the past couple days that I’ve done better. Stay strong and remember that the pain of missing him is under your control and will help you heal, in time.