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Grayhat

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  • #278415
    Grayhat
    Participant

    Yes Michelle that should have been the ideal case. But I come from an orthodox background and I have been consistently trying to change their view, but they have very strong doubts on her. Also, I did the mistake of playing the victim card when I got to know that she is with some other guy and cheating on me, during which time I told everything to my parents which created a very negative impression of her.

    I am telling them I am ready to have a future with her, but they keep saying it will be a mistake and don’t want me to take any further steps toward her. With so much going around I too start sometimes to doubt myself is this all even worth?

    #278401
    Grayhat
    Participant

    Thanks Anita.

    Okay so I will repost my original post with more detailed information. My parents did knew her and liked her before we separated. I have added this in the below repost.

    I am 28 and the girl is 23.

    I am in love with this girl, and at some point she loved me as well with the same intensity. Our families knew about us and they wanted us to get married. My family really liked her a lot at that time. But things got complicated.

    So here is the story, I was with her in a relationship for several months to a girl but then had to relocate in a different country. After a while like a year after I relocated we started having issues. We started having small fights which turned to be bigger issues and the time zone complicated this even more. I started mistreating her like expecting her to be available for me all the time but then not being there for her when she would need me the most. In a way I created a communication gap and did not support her the way she supported me. Due to all this she got involved with some other guy and didn’t tell me about it until I confronted her. I knew she was lost at that point of time and she was doing a mistake which she accepts now, but at that time she was just not ready for any reasoning from my side, so we moved apart.  I understand we both made mistakes in our relationship.

    Now a year after we ended the relationship she has came back, apologized and we both have forgiven each other. But, sometimes I do have doubts if past repeats and it so difficult to overcome that fear, I will overcome this I know. But the real issue is that my family is not ready to accept her after all that happened, as they think she can cheat me again. I am trying to convince them, but it’s taking a toll on my relationship with them as  they think I am being selfish by giving my happiness more priority over theirs. I don’t know how far should I go in this situation?

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Grayhat.
    #278391
    Grayhat
    Participant

    That was mistake on my side. We were together for precisely 6 months. I couldn’t find an option to edit my post.

    #278385
    Grayhat
    Participant

    Thanks Anita.

    1. How did you mistreat your then girlfriend of two months at that time?

    So it wasn’t a two month thing. We were together like for 6-7 months, and then I moved to another country for my studies. Everything was perfect for a year after that or so but then we started having small fights which turned out even bigger issues. I just didn’t handle it properly, and somehow I was the one who created more issues at that time.

    2. What did you tell your parents about your girlfriend?

    When everything ended I was totally broken and frustrated and I told my mom she cheated on me. She got to know this through other sources as well. I should have never told my mother about that.

    3. Did your parents meet your girlfriend, and if they did, what were their complaints regarding your girlfriend?

    My mother is not ready because she thinks the same mistake will be repeated again and the girl is immature.

    4. What toll is your relationship with your girlfriend taking on your relationships with your parents?

    I am trying to convince my family and they think I am being selfish by giving my happiness more priority over theirs.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Grayhat.
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