Hey there 🙂

I’ve been reading on alot of posts concerning the no contact rule..see I don’t have years of wisdom to impact to you…am only 19 but this is what I think concerning this no contact rule..

1.the first thing you need to ask yourself is why you want him back..make a list of those reasons and see which ones are genuine and not selfish…if that list includes reasons that suggest you want him back to validate you or for codependency purposes then I don’t think you should be taking this road..

2.i strongly believe that the right way of using the no contact rule is to focus on yourself..its all about healing yourself,its about giving yourself the time and space to recover from a breakup…and it doesn’t have to be 30days..it could be more…i believe that time should be for personal development

3.if you’re trying to use the no,contact rule to elicit a response from your boyfriend such as making him miss you or making him come back to you there are many things that could go wrong..for he could be back because he got lonely and not necessarily because of love and in the long run this turns out to be fatal…

I feel like the moment you make it a priority to get your ex back during the no contact you are torturing yourself mentally..you will find yourself wondering if he is missing you,if he is going to text you or what he is doing…which is not the point at all..the purpose of the no contact rule is to make you feel better about yourself and make you heal so that you will not be bothered by whether he responds to you or not if you do decide to initiate contact later….

while its possible that he may start to miss you during this time,please do not use it as your,primary reason..
use this time to improve yourself,to calm yourself so that you can think clearly and be able to reflect on your relationship and see if getting him back will really be healthy for you….

sometimes we are so focused on getting back someone and not letting go without really taking,the time to think of why we want this person so much….
so I hope that you use this time for you…

best wishes

Dear Carlos..
no I don’t mind you asking at all.

He did give me,space and just like your ex I told him that we should just be friends…it was really hard to try and,just be friends and in the beginning we found ourselves falling back into the same routines..
we talk daily but we’re trying not to see each other at the moment..
one,thing that has really helped me is how persistent he is..he has always been..he’s patient and once in a while he reminds me that he’s there for me..which helps me and motivates me to work on myself cause I have this amazing guy who won’t give up on me…one who loves me enough to wait..that has helped me alot..

try and talk to her once in a while..let her know that you are there for her..

but is it just the 2 past relationships that caused her insecurities?..
what is her family life like?
her childhood…?

Hey there

wow I am so so sorry for everything that happened to you…
and you are one strong lady for being able to get away from all of that and even trying to move on from your past..
you coming here to talk about it is already a great step and I applaud you for that..
what your mum did to you selling you as a sex toy is disgusting…
it doesn’t matter that she was in a dark place or that she was unstable that was just horrible..
you are so so strong..
I was abused as well..and I know how you may feel..
I built high walls around me and I found it extremely hard to let anyone in.i couldn’t even let friends in.
I couldn’t trust anyone,couldn’t love anyone and didn’t know how to accept love…
but here I am..i took it one step at a time..days when I felt like crying I did lots of it..days when I felt depressed I wrote it down..or just talked to someone..maybe you don’t have many friends but writing it here helps as well..
you will be okay..
that I am sure of..

keep being strong..
and don’t stop yourself from feeling your pain..
you can only go through it not around it..
have you heard from your dad?
have you ever tried to contact him?..

please please be strong..
it gets better I promise you