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Giovanni

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • in reply to: How do I deal with the loss of a girlfriend of 4 years #280693
    Giovanni
    Participant

    Hey anita,

    I was away from my computer all weekend so I wasn’t able to write back. My sister got married this weekend and, as you know, my ex was a bridesmaid. The place we had the wedding is very important to me and it was hard seeing her there. When I first saw her I felt so angry because of what she was putting me through, but as the day progressed I couldn’t help but talk to her more and more and be friendly with her. It was breaking my heart and making me happy all at the same time. I decided that we should talk, since it had been about a week and a half since the break up. She told me that she “doesn’t care about anything anymore” and that she is feeling very depressed. It broke my heart to see her like that. She is a very happy person but I think she may be clinically depressed. We had the talk outside and she was getting mosquito bites so I drove to walmart to get some medicine. Not to win her back or anything, I just care about her well-being. She rode with me and held my hand all the way there.

    Once we got back in the car I kissed her. And she kissed me back. I still feel the “fireworks” with her after all these years whenever we kiss. I kissed her because I love her but I get so nervous because I don’t want that to be the last time we ever kiss. I love this girl so much.

    The wedding happened the next day and things were okay, they were a bit awkward with my family though. My family and I are very close so they aren’t too happy that she broke my heart. She left the reception early because she said she felt so out of place and excluded. I walked her to her car and kissed her one more time before she left. I watched the tears roll down her face as she pulled away. I know she loves me, but I don’t understand how you can leave someone you love.

    As for your response, I can see the possibility of her making a promise through emotion. It is highly questionable that a high school senior would be able to confidently say they’ve found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. She just spoke about it so often, not only to me. My parents, my siblings, her friends and my friends. She let everyone know how much she wanted to be with me.

    When I speak to her I feel like I’m talking to a shell of herself; that the real girl, the one I’ve known for so long, is somewhere inside of her, trapped. I just want to bring her out again. I am getting better day by day and this website is a blessing. It has given me so much insight and I feel as though I’ve gained wisdom through other people’s experiences. I’m praying for her and our relationship.

    -G

    in reply to: How do I deal with the loss of a girlfriend of 4 years #280223
    Giovanni
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I’d like to start off by saying thank you on behalf of everyone on this site because you seem to respond to almost everything posted. You are an angel and you will get rewarded one day. Your response was very insightful and made me view my situation from a different perspective. She wasn’t forced away from me and she did choose to leave me. If you really believe that you will be with someone forever then you would not leave them. So she was either lying to herself or to me, either way is pretty hurtful.

    It also doesn’t help that she is a bridesmaid in my sisters upcoming wedding and I am a groomsman. I don’t know how I should act towards her. I am angry at her for breaking my heart so I don’t want to be friendly to her but, at the same time, she has loved me for so long and I feel like it would be selfish of me not to be nice to her. And like I said she said we are “on a break” so she agreed that we would still be able to hangout and such. But she hasn’t wanted to see me since the breakup (9 days ago) which is completely understandable, but what if she just never wants to see me again.

    I always heard that women are heartbreakers and will leave you in the dust. But with her, it was different. It was like I had found the one girl in the world who was the whole package, and someone who truly loved me for me. But after this, I see that the world was right.

    in reply to: How do I deal with the loss of a girlfriend of 4 years #280221
    Giovanni
    Participant

    mamaof2kids,

    That’s good advice. She is constantly on my mind but I suppose joining a club of some sort would take my mind off things for a while. I don’t want to waste the most fun years of my life sulking over someone who doesn’t want me anymore. I’m taking things day by day but your words of encouragement mean more to me than you will ever know. Thank you so much.

    in reply to: Existential anxiety #279083
    Giovanni
    Participant

    Hey Emily,

    What you’re experiencing is very difficult to deal with, I know. I’ve dealt with this since May of 2017. I don’t know how or why it came to be in my life or into yours but it seems like there are many people who suffer from this. It’s called depersonalization and it basically just makes you feel like you aren’t existing. I know its scary as hell but I’ll tell you whats helped me deal with it over the past couple of years.

    Try not to think about it. I know that sounds very counter-intuitive but anxiety causes anxiety and the more you allow yourself to think about it, the more likely it is to happen. Just accept it as a part of who you are and not necessarily a “scary thing”. Also, the triggers can be more physical than you may think. For me, when I’m in a very brightly lit room I notice all the details which makes me hyper-aware of my situation, which can cause me to feel that way. Don’t be afraid to talk to your close family about it even though they probably won’t understand what you mean.

    Bottom line is, you will be okay. No feeling is final. God has chosen to place this obstacle in some of our lives and in some ways I see it as a blessing. For instance, if I never would have gone through this then I could never have helped (well I hope I helped) some person who I don’t even know. You are alive and you are okay. Life is weird and how life came to be can freak the hell out of some people but sometimes its best to just accept that we’re all here, regardless of how we got here.

    I kind of rambled but I hope I helped you in some way. If you have any specific questions on how to deal with this or any other comments, let me know in a reply.

    Thanks 🙂

    -G

     

     

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)