These are very important things for me to hear, that I can consider them both deeply and for a long time to come.
Thank You maitri2all – whoever you really are.
Somewhat cautious about any possible imbalance, I also. today, have come to consider:

“We were getting on so very well, loving together. I was only 3 weeks old. Now I will never know what it would have been like to finish growing up with you, soaring through the skies, then always coming back to land on your shoulder, to peck at the hairs on the back of your neck – again! If only we could have had just a litle longer together, even one season, loving and caring.”

Well done Matt. Every word of your description makes total sense. If it was a straight mechanical/physical sequence of events then that is its own reason. There doesn’t have to be any ‘higher being’ any other ‘higher reason’. This explanation is totally acceptable.
That does not mean to say I wish there were no other ‘higher’ reason, be that spiritual or otherwise. But a mechanical world I can live in without feeling the need to demand answers/explanations form some intangible mysticism.
Thank You again Matt. Already I am beginning to feel something lightening-up.

Thank You to All who have tried. I have several comforts of kindness and, several wisdoms from you. Thank You.
What I don’t have is any answers.
No regrets.

Thanks Matt, but I am not religious in anyway – which is one of the reasons I approached this site.
People seem to focus upon my punishing myself, which is indeed what I do. But what I NEED, is answers. I need to know why death comes to the so young, why the bird could not have had more of life, why it had to be so violent instead of peaceful ?
I have had people tell me we don’t know the answers – that is just the way it is ‘in the grand scheme of things’ and that I just have to accept it, have faith. But I don’t have that faith.
I really need answers.
Thanks again,
Gary

Thank You Christina, you are being kind. And of course whether it was my bird or your cat or even a butterfly, we feel the same. I have absolutely no regrets over nurturing the little bird, none at all. And you are quite right, it’s death was an incident. I don’t have too much trouble understanding and qualifying the event which happened. Rather like the poor cat under your car. Perhaps even exactly the same. The problem I am having is reconciling that straightforward knowledge about what happened with the powerful feelings of guilt I’m experiencing – which certainly don’t match up. It’s the surprising imbalance which is throwing me.
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