Anita, thank you. From the day that she said yes to the other guy, my feelings for her have grown exponentially. Seems to me that the grief is getting worse, the memories are getting stronger and they are affecting me in every possible way. I am not enjoying anything around me, even the usual stuff that I used to. There is zero smile on my face. Every instance that I get, I imagine her in my life. The travel, the eating out, the boring stuff, the lying around on the sofa, watching “Friends” (our favorite show together). I am also imagining so many other things that I wouldn’t usually think of, like looking for a new home together, getting a puppy together. I do not think the intensity would have decreased but that is just my current opinion. Pretty much, I am imagining a “perfect” future with her, but now she is gone and I am getting sucked into the whirlpool of bad emotions. She is coming to meet me today. We will spend a few hours together. She said she misses me a lot. I do not know what is going on in her head. Is she just trying to comfort me in this difficult time? What am I supposed to do to just erase all of these new emotions. I do not want to be feeling this way. Not for long anyway.

Help me move on please!

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Gagan.

Eliana, yes the family pressure to get married as soon as possible is the main reason. Otherwise, she would have dated the guy for several months to truly express her feelings. Now, she is forcing herself to love that man. And I know that she is such a lovely woman, that she would make anyone fall in love with her. This morning, however, I got a text from her saying, “I miss you, I miss you so much, I need to see you.” But, I also know that it is extremely difficult for her to back out now, though not impossible. I can’t push her to be with me either because the last time I did (about a month ago), she told me would never forgive me if I ever ask her again, and that the decision had been already made.

Nextsteps and Sha, thank you for the support.

We met last night, and she told me that she can’t back out now, and that she likes the guy. It was an arranged marriage sort of situation, so usually there isn’t enough time to fully get to know each other. But that also means that the family plays a larger role in the decision making. She can’t back out now, even though she knows in the hearts of her heart that she should. She texted me this morning saying that she misses me alot, and that she wants to meet me again today. I strongly believe that if the families weren’t involved, she would come back to me, but unfortunately, that us not the case.

Additionally, I have been up and down the sadness roller-coaster. When I purposefully block out all her memories, I get better, but then once any little thing that reminds me of her creeps into my head, I go into a spiral. I am not sure what the best route to take is at this moment. I have had suicidal thoughts, but I know I won’t carry them through, because I cannot make my family suffer because I couldn’t get my head together in time. But at the same time, I do not know which path to choose for the quickest recovery. Should I just cut her from my life entirely? Should I try to keep the friendship as it was before?