Thanks for your support folks. This whole forum has given me so much to think about. I know that this new journey of personal discovery has been kick started due to meeting a new work colleague (and now very good friend) who actively demonstrates how much she cherishes and respects me – this, in itself, is a fairly new thing in my life. I am not interested in moving onto a new romantic relationship but I recognise that I need more people in my life that will let me feel valued and to show how much i value them. I have always been a very self contained person – not a lot of friends, spend a lot of time on my own etc – all through my own personal choice. However, as you mentioned anita, we are social beings and maybe this has not been the best way. I think a lot of this ‘not needing other people’ has stemmed from feeling vulnerable to potential harm that they may cause. Its now become second nature to keep myself to myself, not express how I feel to anyone with any honesty, cope with everything on my own. However, I think this has possibly been damaging me inside. Many years ago, I had a reiki session, during which I cried continuously. The reiki practitioner said ‘you have so much rage inside of you’. This was very surprising as I am a very even tempered person. Is this rage possibly all the unexpressed emotions I have boxed away for decades? If so, how do I get rid of it safely?