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FlaviaParticipant
Kevin, one thing caught my attention in your posts: you say you’re proud (of not using drugs). Being proud means that you believe you’re doing something you must do, means you believe you’re achieving that ideal of ‘right’ or ‘good’. That means there is and ‘ideal’ in you still, and the fact that you think you’re fullfiling it makes you feel good: makes you feel proud. If you experienced any anger (even a little bit) while reading this, it means there’s still some resitance in you to let go of a mind made self. Allow the anger, if it’s the case. Don’t be indifferent, don’t think it shouldn’t be there, just allow it. My intention is only the best.
FlaviaParticipantI have been there too. But consciously. I know one thing: you should tell him everything. Like you, I was caught up in a whirl of guilt that was eating me alive. You begin to feel unworthy, and this will, in some way, appear in the relationship. To live hiding something is a nightmare. You should make it all clear and accept the consequences. I don’t say it like a judge in a trial, remember that you’re not really guilty of anything, I say it because it is the only thing that will bring peace to both of you. Can you imagine building a marriage over this? Is it fair to you or to him? Can you live like this? I imagine you can’t. If you’re feeling bad about yourself is because you understand you did something you think you shouldn’t. You think you shouldn’t have done that because that was inconsiderate to other human, that is empathy. You are a bright light in this world just for that. Don’t believe thoughts of guilt, guilt doesn’t help, it never helps. Acknowledging you had behavior that may have caused harm to others is still not a reason enough to feel guilt. Its only reason enough to commit to not having this behaviour again, that’s all. You only need to accept what happened, FORGIVE YOURSELF, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and believe you’re good, you’re a compassionate human and deserves love and caring from others and FROM YOURSELF. Stand with your head up, take in all, accept all, AND SHARE EVERYTHING WITH YOUR PARTNER. Even your fears and axieties, your most inner self.
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