Tannhauser,

As PearceHawk mentioned you are holding on to your anger and disappointments with your history of past experiences of not getting any help. I am going through a similar phase where I am experiencing physical pain with my upper back and neck. Recently I visited an osteopathic physician who gave me good treatment so I could relax myself a bit. Then I was able to see that those pains were mostly caused by me as I was doing too much static work without taking breaks away from these damn computers. Too much sitting breaks your body. But you know the effects of unknown poison only after taking it. I was blaming my employer for causing this but it was my choice to let my back and neck stiffen. Now I am going trough a phase of forgiving myself being so stupid and learning new more ergonomic ways how to manage my job. A practical answer is that I need to change my position a lot. And most of all, stop blaming others for the choices (concious or non-concious) in my life. Done is done, leave the past, learned a lot, thanks and bye.

So, let go of the anger you are holding, it will harm you only. Throw away that huge mental rock that you are holding.

When you are cleansing your spirit it is easier when you do some physical actions along with it. Take a shower and think that water is rinsing away that specific grudge and worry.

Or go for a walk and when you are in a calmer state of mind you might consider writing a letter to all parties who you are holding grudge against. Feel free to use any foul words you can imagine. You do not need to send the letter, instead you just might want to rip it to pieces and burn the pieces.

Or if you like you can make a real-sized straw doll with your arch-enemy’s face glued on it and smack it with a baseball bat…your choice. Or scream out your despair. Just do anything that will get the rage out of your system. Suppressed negative feelings are stored within our body and if they are not “returned to the sender” they will pop up when a similar situation happens. Then somebody else have to see your rage and that is not good for you or that other innocent person.

So if you are not sure what to do then seek another live person who could help you.

And there are a lot of self-help books available on self-transformation, personal growth, acceptance and forgiving.

All the best!

-Fingerist

Saman,

all you need to do is to start believing that you can really change your situation.

You need a lot of positive input from others but the most important input is that you make yourself.

We all are carrying some amount of life-negating behaviour patterns, limiting beliefs and such.

It is our privilege to get rid of them so those poisoned patterns will not affect you or anyone else in the future.

By design you are not created to be a victim of any situation that life may throw at you.

If you need to verify this, just ask the Designer…

Some of us are built to be very sensitive to emotions and sometimes it may be difficult to get rid of them.

But as said when you are feeling stuck or depressed you need to start moving. Any direction is fine as it is a start.

Find the things and people that give you even a sparkle of joy. And then stick to them no matter what.

You might find some practical relief from practising yoga, the style of yoga depends on what your physical condition is.

And the best if you can get a therapist, I believe that CBT (Cognitional Behaviour Therapy) would be the most effective in the long run as it will give you tools how to transform you internally for good.

When you own the tools you do not have to borrow them anymore.

All the best and even better!

Tannhauser,

I do not know what kind of philosophies or thought and emotion patterns you have sunken yourself into but seems that they have not been worthwhile.

You probably have been dwelling too much doing same things and now you are totally bored with them.

You are transforming to something else as a being and your state is just a passing phase in transformation.

Do not stay in the agony, start doing things you may have completely overlooked.

I do believe that “God” or the source of everything (GO-O-OD) exists but as we are limited beings in many ways we are not always able to perceive the bliss of existence, only partial “showers” of it. I do not belong to any church but I have experienced many “mystical” revelations while reading sacred texts of multiple religions leaving me weeping under the depth of the feeling.

I really cannot blame the Provider for not fullfilling my every wish.

There are many things that we just have to do ourselves.

The simple law is that on what you concentrate your actions will grow within you.

So if you feed any angst or depression it will get bigger and bigger.

Turn your focus on delightful things and actions and you will feel better.

I have found many helpful tips on the YouTube videos by Sadhguru, he is a guy with a genuine no-bullshit type of attitude on all things of spirituality and beyond. Highly recommended.

Wishing wellness,

Fingerist