PatientObserver,

As with any words of advice, I’ll try to say as much in as little as possible. As with any words of advice, please listen to them and evaluate how they may or may not be beneficial to you but do not ignore them.

Annie has said some very good things, I’ll reiterate to emphasize their truth. If you want to be single, then that’s fine. You’re free to do as you please. If you think you’ll be single because of your physical attraction, and past and there’s nothing you can do about it, then that is not a good and you’re giving up over petty reasons.

As far as physical attraction is concerned, ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase before and I just want to say it is absolutely true. Don’t believe me, watch ‘The Twilight Zone’ episode, ‘Eye of the beholder’. Seriously, it’s that obvious.

But really, I’m sure you are a beautiful person physically and beyond as the words you’ve shared would indicate so. From my perspective, I pursued a field in the arts and in doing so, was required to draw the nude figure countless times. I drew women, I drew men, I drew the old, the young, the dark-skinned, the light-skinned, brunettes, redheads, blondes, people with “perfect” bodies and people with physical deformities. In doing so, with each drawing, I came to realize that the human figure is itself, a very bewitching form. It’s perfection lies in its variation and the is infinitely greatened by the perception of those variations. Again, as Annie said, character and personality can overcome any level of physical. I’ve seen “beautiful” people reveal themselves to be rather ugly and I’ve seen those considered unattractive become drop-dead gorgeous because of who they were and where they stood. Their principles and actions were far more marketable traits in the world of meaningful relationships than anything cosmetics could have done.

I’ve been told that I’m ugly and I’ve been told that I’m handsome. Which do I believe? The secret answer is both. I am ugly and I am handsome. If perception is reality, and another individual perceived me as being either of these traits, then it must be true even if that truth exist outside of our own point of view.

As far as your history is concerned, as a male, there are better ways to seek validation. If you continue to pursue your dreams and ambitions of helping others (and whatever else), taking care of yourself in spite of the diagnosis from the doctor, and looking after your spirits, you will find guys who will admire you and want to be in your presence. This in turn, could lead to a relationship, if you ever decide to you want one.

If you’ve been one to have a neglecting father, I’m sorry to hear. The positive response, is that you are you and can put him in the past. Just because he screwed up doesn’t mean that you have to adjust your life to accommodate for his actions. In a sense, you’re empowering him, and from what you’ve said, he doesn’t seem worthy of the crown or ability. You’re already doing good and need to see that there are guys who aren’t like your father. Millions of them, no exaggeration.

Considering your previous relationships, I’d make a guess that your natural tender-heartedness combined what appears to be a jaded self-esteem is why you’re pouring yourself into these relationships. Before you enter a relationship, understand this:

I don’t need to be with this person, because I’m great without them, but in joining our lives, we can compliment one another and achieve and experience things that one couldn’t do solo.

Never forget to put your inner self before everyone, and that by doing what’s best for you, you’ll do the best for the world. And the world will repay you in increasing dividends, that’s natural law that can’t be broken.