Thank you for the reply Anita, I am amazed that you are still around Tinybuddha and answering questions. Well done.
I am Inspired.

Regarding my father, I talked with him today about the situation and we had a quite pleasant reflective discussion which was beneficial on both ends. I might have been slightly too quick turning to Tinybuddha for perspective 😀

Kind Regards
C/F

Thanks for the answer,

How do they get over stimulated and how is this connected to the heart-chakra or energy-vise? How do i prevent it from overstimulation?

F

Actually it makes alot of sense that people get anxious because they think the other person is thinking they are stupid. Today when i met the girl which looked at the map actually was late and i had found her bankcard which she had lost so maybe she felt stupid because of that and wanted to downplay herself in someway because she thought i was thinking the same. Still, these situations completely catch me off guard and it feels like a reverse gaslight where they think they know me in advance so they cast the false reality before i do it in their minds or they want to “test” me if it is true so they take the stupidness into discussion to see how i will react to that. Actually now when writing alot of light-bulbs are going off because i used to be friends with someone that i feel was very afraid of what i was thinking of him and he wanted to test me by doing jokes or taking up subjects which was about him to see how i would react and when you notice it, it is easy to want to prove otherwise which usually ends up feeding their belief and proof that it is the other way around because now the person is trying to defend himself. This is the same feeling i get in the downplaying situations, a strong danger because there is a part of me which is afraid to move because it might end up with me proving the other person that i actually think they are stupid, retarded, selfish, addicted or any other downplaying element. So i freeze and my automatic fight or flight wall goes up because it senses conflict and hurt by being in that situation. I think this also stretches back to my childhood where i felt like whatever i did i got doomed and lost or got hurt. Something to do with the way i had to act to not get hurt. This downplaying has been jumping a bit on me lately, something is calling me to understand and integrate. This girl at the coffeshop did some mathematical error while counting and said to me “How stupid of me, i am so bad at counting” wink wink. Same situation, i feel like there is no natural respons coming into my mind yet and i have to choose to either be quiet or say something really fake to validate that it is ok to be bad at math which might make them feel bad or i will peobobly say it in a way which makes them disbelieve me and feel offended because i just told them nonverbally “You such mentally, you are bad at math, get your shit together” which i never intended and never wanted to get into.

Thanks for replying again Antia, sometimes feels like you are the only one reading on the website.

Is it about something else which i dont understand yet? It just seems so unnatural and destructive to downplay or talk about being stupid or bad at something. I have natural responses to that.

Sorry for the spelling errors, noticed afterwards. Thanks for replaying Anita:)

F

1. I feel that my father supresses emotions within himself so that he does not have to be vunerable (ever) so the abuse im talking about is supressing and denying emotions in himself which makes it hell for everyone around him to get close or whenever you are close it makes one either have to tolerate to play into his illusion of no emotion and everything is fine or being oneself which feels like one has to naturally express irritation and distance towards him which he would probobly interprets as something which has nothing to do with him.

2. The irritation i mentioned was nothing i expressed more the general mood around him. I naturally felt supressed, irritated and angry so i talked about school in a distancing and irritated tone even though the school subject was positive.

Yeah, seems like he was the jerk type. Thanks for your answers, it was the compassion i needed. Appreciate your time and replies:)

Hello  Velora, i appreciate your extensive answer.

In my first question and your first answer. I cant say i really wanted anything specific from him. But something which struck me, was his lack of care or even concern for the pain, feelings and critique i expressed and gave him. I told him, i feel he is stuck in a posotive bubble and pushing away negativity in others and not accepting it as part of reality. This i feel is very dangerous when you avoid someone living in a painful reality. Lets say someone had their parent die, this person would meet up with his/her friend and express these feelings. The friend to the person that lost his parent would acknowlage the loss but soon after start living their own perception of reality which is “just think positive”. It tales long time to heal, someone cant expect someone else to just “be positive” when they obviously are in pain and may suffer from many types of pain not just loss of a parent. In my case, i felt that the pain which i experienced was not valid for him and got poked at for it, as if he wanted force me to heal. Almost as if, he believed it is fake and not real. Therefore, he never wanted to deal with my low vibration and painful feelings. I can see that it is nice to cheer someone up and make them think more positive but when someone denies a painful part of ones reality it gets pushed away and not dealt with. This same person uses antidepressant, so i can imagine that this is how he treats his own pain. He used to be in a mental hospital until he got perscribed antipsychotics and antidepressant which i am sure cuts away alot of his natural feelings. It is well known that empathy is lost and decreased in use of these medications. Also i think it is important to mention that i used to be powerful codependent and what i strongly believe that this guy was/is a covert narcisisst. Throughout my friendship with him i got these sensations being with him that i am going crazy. That something is very wrong, i was scared of expresskng my feeling because i felt that i would always be in the wrong around him and that i would feel even worse afterwards because he would make feel as i am insane. I am not quite sure yet, but it seemed to be all about him and nothing about me. I invited him to expensive trips, gave him nice gifts. Always felt, like i was in a giving mode but he never gave back. Atleast not in a way where i would feel valued and important to him in his life. Almost as if, i was there to serve him and his experience.