Dear Anita,

what do you mean by that?

Dear Peter,

That’s good point. But how do you differentiate where the voice comes from?

Dear Patrick,

Thanks for writing back. So to answer your questions:

1. A person, met at an event. We became close and I got really attached. It was not mutual because i didn’t feel the love meanwhile the person loved me so much. We ended it.

2. I’m raised like normal. Well, my family is Chinese conservative but I’m not living in China. I can’t hug or kiss my parents, it’s just awkward and we are not accustomed to do that. Even saying I love you, it’s just not our family thing. But I talk to them normally, joke around, and share daily stories. To my siblings too.

3. In high school, I didn’t feel like this. I’m sure that before senior high school, I had a good self-esteem. But now, i can say that my self-esteem is low because I’m easily offended by critics.

I’m trying hard every day to not let the evil thoughts control me. I know it’s there. So what I’m doing now is not to get into my thought too much. If I think it’s gonna make me crazy, I will step back from my thought and take it easy. Thanks once again, Patrick.

felita.

Hi Anita,

I’m doing okay here. Sometimes the craziness is still there but I’m managing it well. Thank you for asking

Dear Lacy Rigs,

you can start your own thread so that other members can reply and talk to you. But most of all, I think you have to connect deeply with yourself first. Ask yourself do you really want to be with him. Assess your feelings when you are with him and you’ll know the answer. That’s what I think. Hope it helps.

felita

Dear Gia,

How do you love yourself?

Dear Gia,

I have a very high self-criticism. To see me “sad and crazy” Felita, I think I’m having mental illness or so what. I think I’m worthless without her. I’m nothing without her. Because she sees me in a way I don’t see myself. She said I’m smart, and I don’t think I’m that smart. I always put finger on myself. I think I’m a monster because I let my ego control me for too long. That me being crazy like this is just because I want her attention, to make myself feel good again. Don’t you think I’m a bad person?

Hi.

Sorry to write again. I’m very depressed right now. Couple days after we decided to stop texting each other, she texted me asking how have I been. I was cold to her because I knew it was for the best. She kept making things to talk and again talking about us not working and so on. It was driving me crazy. Until she called me the night. We talked like normal, she jokes around so sweet. We laughed. Then I said to her “you have to move on, we have to move on”, and she hung up. The next morning she texted me “I miss you”, I replied “I miss you too.” Then she continued that she wanted me to be independent and strong, and being with her would be an obstacle for me to do so. So we said take care to each other. Later the day she texted me again saying that sometimes I have to give command so then others won’t walk over me. I okayed her. I had meeting the whole day that day and after meeting was done, I figured out that she blocked me everywhere.

This breaks me really hard. The thought of not be able to see or contact her anymore frightens me. I’m feeling crazy, I’m dying inside, I wanna scream. I don’t know what is this. I’m depressed right now. Help me please.

Hi anita,

thank you for your reply. It is difficult to determine which is the real voice inside my head. Sometimes I feel I miss her being around and I’m afraid that it’s just my ego who wants her back for me to feel safe again. I don’t know do I really have feeling for her or is it just an unhealthy attachment. How do you figure out? How do you decide which voices to believe?

She said she loves me enough to set me free. She said she had to push me so that I can kill this unhealthy attachment. And she said she wants to figure out if after I lose the attachment, can we really work out or not. Basically she is waiting. I am really in a river of confusion. I don’t know what to do.