Dear anita,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve suffered with it. Yes I am currently seeking treatment. It started with going to therapy for anxiety induced from school and college stress and just realizing I needed to deal with it better. Then in turned into full blown chronic anxiety and some depression which I didn’t even realize I was depressed until months into it. Then it spiraled even more into paralyzing fear of decision making and intense career anxiety and ruminating on every single decision I’ve ever made wondering if things would be different. I then went on a trip and experienced some horrendous jet lag and I almost felt like that shocked my system into some state of depersonalization (?). Thennnnn that’s where the intrusive thoughts sort of started, targeting my love for children and overanalyzing my years of babysitting if I ever did anything harmful. And just horrible intrusive thoughts + a bit of existential OCD (if you are familiar with that). Intense analyzation of my own thoughts and beliefs also came with that – always focused on what my thoughts are, how my brain mechanically works and functions and just feeling like I will never be present again. Not sure if you needed this much information but to answer your question with a very long story – yes I am currently in therapy and taking medication. But I just feel like I am never going to get my brain back, I didn’t even know all of these weird mental struggles were possible. also I’m only 21 so it’s even scarier and exhausting that I have a long way to go. Thank you for writing to me and I hope you stay well.