Hi Hopeful
First of all I want to say congratulations for making your decision. However it is much easier making the decision, than getting to the point where we have to implement it. Once implemented it is even more difficult to stay on that path. You must realize that “Rome was not built in one day”. How long did it not take you to get to the point where you made your decision? You are going to have to take it one tiny step at a time… It took me over two years of hell and a deep dark prison of depression to rebuild my life with my debilitating illness but here I am nearly at the end of my “Rebuilding stage”.

Set yourself a monthly goal and start working on that goal on a daily basis. Reward yourself at the end of that month when in fact you did achieve your goal. On the days that you feel you having a dip have your “Pity Party” but never allow yourself to stay there for longer than a day. Remember we all make mistakes and fail. That is no sin. Your sin will be to give up and not try again.

You cannot blame yourself for your kids’ anxiety unless you physically cause them to be anxious. However the kids might “feel” your anxiety although you are not showing it. Subconsciously it will show. First of all you are going to have to learn to LOVE YOURSELF and not to criticize yourself all the time. You are going to have to become happy & content within yourself, accept your weight and your body. This takes quite some training but with sheer determination you can do it. Once you have achieved this your life will fall in place and you will start losing weight. Remember a Happy and content YOU will result in a happier and more relaxed mommy which in return results in happy content kids and a loving and happy home.

Also remember if you did in fact go through with your divorce, this will work on the children. Assure them that what happened between you and your husband is not their fault and that you both still love them. Explain to them that as two adults you outgrew each other.

Never rely on other people to define who you are. You are your own unique creation, a one of a kind and you should never change yourself to suit and keep other happy. I’m not sure what the mishap between you and your friend was but I am sure if you sit and talk it out with her, the two of you should work it out. Be honest with each other and explain to her how you feel and that she hurt your feelings. Remember your best friend should be able to criticize and be brutally honest. (At least that is what I expect of my true friends). You must be prepared to take constructive criticism and work on a few pointers; if they were valid. As a human we sometimes do not want to see the truth or accept it but once you actually do think about what was said you will realize there are maybe some truths in what was said. I hope you and your friend work out your differences.

Be strong my girl and be yourself. Love yourself and be happy with yourself. Remember no one can change your life but yourself. Everyone can give advice but if you are not going to listen to some and actually take heed, your life will not change. Therefore, start in rebuilding yourself and from there your life, your kids, your home and everything else will fall in place.

I am leaving you with this PICK ME UP line and My motto I live by now:
YOU CANNOT LEAD A POSITIVE LIFE WITH A NEGATIVE MIND!

Wishing you all of the best on your journey to recovery.