Anita-

That is something I’ve never thought of before. What an interesting, and eye opening, way to look at it! It reminds me of something my boyfriend would say. He is always going back to our roots and comparing our thoughts/actions to the times when everything was life or death and saying, well- as an animal, it makes sense!

Oh wow! It’s really beautiful to hear that other people have similar experiences as me.

Inky and Anita- it’s interesting to think about the fact that we can be, at our core, introverts, but society kind of tries to pull us away from that. Similar to Anita, I experience anxiety in social situations more often than not, feeling inferior to others, for different reason, because I’m NOT sociable. Constantly feeling like the ‘shy’ one, or the ‘odd one out’ It’s nice to be reminded that simply, it’s who I am! We’re all different and all beautiful.

Anita- I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. 🙂

Prash- I love that you said ‘everyone shares the common goal of happiness’. You’re absolutely right! We all seek it in a different way, but we all want to feel at peace.

With love

Emi

Peggy- thank you for your kind words. They are appreciated! Washing my hands and splashing my face is a simple ‘transition ritual’ that I can easily incorporate into my day!

Jane- your bedtime routine sounds so beautiful and cozy. Mine is really anything but- usually TV until I fall asleep. I’ve been trying to stray away from my phone during the evenings before bed, which I have been better about. I think tonight I will try reading instead of TV. I love to read, but often find myself saying I don’t have time. But I do! I just dedicate that time to some things that feel a little bit more unhealthy for me at the end of my day. Thank you for sharing!

Kevin- I would say yes, I often give so much of myself to others that I don’t give myself the love that I need. Your message was a great reminder to continue to show others love, but never at the expense of myself. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for my to care for myself in the mornings, but not in the evenings. Like, the morning in a fresh start, but I empty my cup and have nothing left to give to myself by the end of the day. That’s something really interesting to think about!

Peggy- thank you for saying that! I do feel very rewarded by my work. My kids are a big motivation for me in so many ways. Just like Sophie’s teacher told her, I feel that I learn so much about being a teacher and about life in general from my students. They truly are precious to me. 🙂

Michelle- I, too, can relate to the feeling of go, go, go before being able to settle. I definitely will try incorporating transition rituals. This will be simple and easily accessible, but transformative. I know something like a bath, meditation, yoga, etc. would be wonderful. The hard part is getting there. I suppose I can bring myself to do it, even if I’m not really feeling like it, and eventually it will become part of my routine, just like my mornings.
Jeroen- I love how you mentioned the first hour and last hour of our day as being the most important. I treat my first hour as sacred, but my last hour is nothing but. I find myself eating garbage in front of the tv, scrolling through my phone, etc. until it’s time for me to go to sleep. Like I mentioned to Michelle, I know what you mentioned could be a beautiful and transformative practice for me, but the hard part will be actually bringing myself to do it. With persistence, though, eventually it can become a part of my routine.
Thank you both for the insight 🙂

Anita-

Identifying the beginning of anxiety is always hard for me. Sometimes, it’s like I’m having an off day and I know that. Maybe I’m feeling just a little tired and drained after a work day. But not so much so that I’m falling into anxiety or spiraling out of control. But then it’s like, something sets me off and suddenly I’m fully spiraling and it almost feels too late, and I don’t even know where it went wrong or what exactly set me off.

Also, If I get anxious in the comfort of my own space, I can get through it pretty quickly. It’s when others are around that I spiral so badly, i think because I feel worried about what that other person might think of me. I feel the need to apologize and make sure that they don’t resent me. Which, I know could probably lead to more resentment.

Hi all-

Thank you for all of your kind responses. I’m sorry for the late reply. I have read all of your words as they came in, but wanted to think long and hard on them.

K- thank you so much for your words. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with long distance, as it opened my eyes to something that I didn’t realize before. Yes, I will miss him, but your exactly right in saying that, so long as we keep our relationship as a top priority, the distance will allow us to discard the parts of our relationship that are stale and petty. I see that already, when I go away for even a long weekend. A phone call after not seeing him for a couple of days always seems to leave me feeling more connected to him then usual. The idea that this can and will help us grow in our relationship, as long as we stay dedicated to each other, will keep me going.

Inky- you are so right. I will be so busy with school that the days will fly by, bringing me closer to coming back home to him.

Mark- thank you for saying that. I was and am living in the state of future thinking. And if convinced that I will be sad, and if living from a place of fear, I probably will be. But if I focus on gratitude and live from a place of love, then I will feel just that. To be truthful, I think this is the biggest difficulty I face in life in general. Thank you for helping me recognize that, because now that I identified that, I can make a change.

Peggy- you said something that I have never even thought of before. You said ‘When you applied to be on the Masters Course, you knew that it would mean leaving people behind that you loved yet you decided that the end goal would be worth that sacrifice.  Now it’s only two weeks away, all those fears are surfacing.’ This could be said for a lot of areas in my life, actually. You’re absolutely right. I know that the positives of temporarily leaving those I love would immensely outweigh the negatives. When I applied, I was living from a place of furthering myself without thinking of my fears, as it was so long ago. But now, as it gets closer, all of my fears are coming to the surface. Thank you for helping me recognize that.

Overall, I know I will be okay. Logically, I know the end goal is worth the temporary distance, and anything else that I fear in the process. From this point on, I will continue to remind myself to focus on the moment in front of me. To live from a place of love and gratitude. Thank you all for your kind words. You helped me more than you know.

Emi