Hi Joe,

After wading through the swampland of internet mis-information and flaky offers of cannabinoid oils, I found a supplier which feels trustworthy.

Their oils are from organic hemp, not marijuana. They are legal and not psycho-active. This company is the first I have found which has has the oils analyzed for CBD content so a person knows what they are getting.

I placed an order today. If you are still interested, I will post my experience. It may take a few days, since the effects may not be immediately recognizable. Let me know, please.

Hi Joe,

I highly (not a pun) respect your feeling about cannabis and am the last to persuade anyone. My own feelings towards marijuana are mixed – not for myself, as I trust my self-awareness and self-responsibility. But I could not participate in something that is detrimental to others such as living on a farm that sells cannabis in a way which people widely abuse. I would rather not participate in the money or consumerism system at all, as well.

I live on a property where medical cannabis is legally grown for personal use. This is new, as of this Spring. There has been no harvest yet. I have distanced myself from the growing without knowing why. Just a feeling. My partner, an empath and wise woman, sees the plants on a deeper level. She is not a user, but finds the plants attractive and beneficial. When I look at them, I also see the beauty and strength of the plants.

I am realizing that the issue with cannabis is not the plant at all but with two factors. One is that it has been hybridized extensively to produce certain outcomes, which interferes with the natural design. The other is that in general people do not have the emotional maturity to be self-responsible when using marijuana.

Joe, I am glad for you that you could have quite easily gone down this route but luckily you didn’t. Because I have witnessed first-hand the devastating effects of pharmaceutical psychotropics, and read about some beneficial results from medical cannabis, I stay open-minded to that limited use. I highly question the wisdom of recreational use at all.

“In your opinion, what do you think is the best way of taking cannabis? I still have no desire to try cannabis again but I would love to read more about the differences and effects from taking it with different methods (I know you have said you haven’t really tried taking it in other ways). What were your positive experiences like?”

I would be speculating on the best way since all I have experienced is smoking. That is not a way for me. I can feel the detriment to my lungs. If I do experiment with other means of ingestion, I will write again. In my positive experiences, my thoughts were slowed, steady and alert. Correction of imbalanced thoughts occurred naturally and I was able to think in more detail, perhaps due to the slowed thought process. I was more aware of the detail of my surroundings. I had that same expanded feeling with heightened awareness when I let go of judgment while soaking in a natural hot springs in southern Spain. The cannabis (with a higher ratio of CBD to THC [1]) brought out qualities of being relaxed and confident – but I don’t want to rely on substance for that. I did not have any particular insights and in the end felt the experience was just okay. It left me with a feeling of wanting to experiment further, with appropriate caution. Thank you again for responding. I continue to enjoy our inter-actions, Joe.

[1] “Most people have heard of a chemical called THC, which is the ingredient in marijuana that gets users high. But recently, attention has shifted to another compound in marijuana called CBD — and for good reason.

“Because while doctors can’t seem to look past certain side effects of THC, CBD doesn’t appear to present that problem. On the other hand, evidence of CBD’s medical benefits continues to grow.”

http://www.leafscience.com/2014/02/23/5-must-know-facts-cannabidiol-cbd/

Annagramma,

May I quote you with your user name in a new post I am writing, “What Hinders and What Supports Emotional Maturity?”

Gary

You will see amazing things, Joe.

In 15 years since 2000 I have packed up and moved 45 times between the States, South America, Europe and the South Pacific. Once reduced all I owned to what I could carry in a backpack and hitch-hiked through New Zealand. Was robbed on the Canary Islands (a great lesson for gaining emotional maturity – may tell the story sometime) and lived in homeless shelters. Worked as a caregiver, house parent and therapeutic parent to seniors, adults with developmental disabilities and autism, and at-risk youth. Did work exchange on remote farm communities on La Palma, in Ecuador and in the Kipahulu rain forest on Maui. Taught English at a Gymnasium (middle school) in Bavaria – a great experience. When you travel, I’d love to stay in contact. And if your travels bring you nearby where I am, I would enjoy to meet you.

My email address is emanatepresence at live dot com. If you like e-mail, would you drop me a note? Or you can use the contact form on the Whole Human site to reach me.

As a self-serving side note, I am in the middle of changing over my way of thinking about emotions and emotional mastery/maturity. It would be very helpful to bounce some ideas off you before I post as you have a well-rounded and well-grounded way of seeing. But only if you feel well with it, and I imagine you’d say.

Gary

• This reply was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by Gary R. Smith.

Joe,

After a period of letting go of the old to make room for the new, and allowing new writing to flow, I have re-visited your comments.

I’d like to catch up on some of our dialogue. Do you know of any comments I have not responded to?

Kati and I are fascinated by your seeing music as color. How would you describe the difference not just in colors but in any other quality such as intensity or feeling of the color, between genres of music?

Have you visited the Whole Human blog post of the dialogue between us? Whenever you feel, no pressure, I would enjoy any feedback.

Have you read the new discussion, ‘What does fear serve?’ This goes into a new stage of my own unfolding, as I revise my way of thinking about emotional mastery and emotions.

How would you feel about having private communication? If it is your interest, it is mine.

Best regards,

Gary

{{For me, emotional mastery equates to not being the master of my emotions, if that makes any sense. Emotional mastery for me seems like some near-impossible feat (in my view, at least – maybe other people are adept at mastering their emotions but I don’t think I am at all!) I no longer try to fight certain emotional responses, try to deny them or trying desperately to return to the state of equilibrium from before that particular emotional response to such-and-such. I just allow myself to be and feel whatever it is I’m feeling at that particular time. I allow them to just be.

Journalling is my preferred method of processing these things – writing is my preferred method of meditation. I just write whatever is on my mind, a stream of consciousness if you will and certain words trigger certain associations, memories and emotions which triggers more words.

But I think I can kind of agree with your view that humanity isn’t developed emotionally – the people I see around me in my day-to-day life, I see grown adults who are angry and easily upset at the tiniest things, or prone to denial. An idea I discussed with Anita in a previous post – the quest for the holy grail, the quest for Shangri La, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That which supposedly brings everlasting fulfilment, happiness or some form of salvation. Always seeking things, always waiting for the big break in life, always wanting to be anywhere but in the now, always wanting something else…We think we’ve found it or acquired it but there’s no lasting fulfilment, there is always something more that we want…The pot of gold is elusive, the pot of gold is an illusion…

Hello Shay,

I was glad to see a new post from you even before I opened it, and appreciate that you shared more from your life.

{{I have been going through a changing time this last year; divorce, my father’s stroke and care giving. Custody battle of my children and meeting someone who has totally amazed and delighted me has challenged me on a whole new level.}}

Life does have a way of providing us with challenges that will most give us opportunities to grow.

{{On so many levels the extreme of a lot of emotions has confronted me on all sides and I will say I look for centering and rely on practicing the centering more and more with heightened awareness.}}

I thought of you today, because of your earlier comment about being in nature, when my partner and I walked our Husky puppy among the towering conifers of Yosemite. Heightened awareness of course is available anywhere, but pristine nature emanates a powerful presence which supports centering as you said.

{{Today as I felt nagging grief over the changing of my relationships and anxiety over my meager finances. My daughter has some chronic health needs and I am responsible for half of the cost. It dawned on me once again to be thankful for the challenge, the loss, the changing of all things I have known and loved these last twenty years.}}

Thankfulness eases the emotional pain and turns hardened soil for new seeds to grow.

{{That thankfulness brings me to be grateful for the rain, the flowers on my desk, then I plan to do something I delight in such as a new poem or painting.}}

A heart that softens in the rain
releases sorrow, grief and pain

it opens to the smallest flower
with thankfulness for every hour

and delights itself in each new day
and says to God, ‘I’m glad I’m Shay.’

{{Ahhhh. What a sigh of relief to know that this challenge will grow me, grow my girls, parents, and maybe my ex, or others in the process. It will give me new tools, and new colors to place on the canvas. I think feeling this grief and concern is not over. I will revisit it again and pursue it until its story is all told. If not in the garden, then in a warm bath or an empty canvas or page. As I do, I will be thakful for the most intense of the emotions and name them, honor them, acknowledge what they have to say right down to the source of pain and then be thankful for that pain.}}

{{I looked at the diagram of the emotional color wheel and have been contemplating my ideas and understanding of them. I personally would put all the intense emotions on the outside, and the inward leave in with acceptance and serenity.}}

Why not paint it? Then send me a photo if you like. You visited the page with the wheel just in time, because I unpublished most of the site on May 1. Letting go of the old to make room for the new.

{{I think seeing it as a hurricane with a calm eye and disruptive violent edge is what I can identify with best. Thank you for opening this door for me. I have enjoyed it.}}

Thank you, Shay. And blessings on your journey.