Thank you for this.

My cons are from fear. I worry about my children and their well-being; I’ve read and witnessed the potentially negative impacts the separation may have on our children – they weren’t given a choice. Fear that I had not yet given my all towards the repair of the relationship. A lot of “what ifs” to consider. This decision isn’t one I make likely due to the many lives it impacts.

That being said, I’m confident now that I have given it my all. I did love him unconditionally or should I say conditionally? What I mean is, I didn’t expect him to provide me anything physically, financially, or materialistically – whatever he was capable of giving me I gladly embraced. The only thing I desperately needed was his trust, respect and support. Perhaps my love is conditional; how does one change that…?

I wrote a separation agreement, 50/50 everything: time, money, kids, and debt. I think that’s fair to him, to myself, to our relationship. I watched his reaction as I told him, his eyes betrayed his facade – he was hurt, I felt hurt and sad that I hurt him. He didn’t want to sign the agreement nor does he want to now, but that’s not within my control any more.

I still love him and I will still be there for him – no matter what; I just don’t see him as my life partner.

Will I ever find a life partner? Silly question.

Thanks so much for replying.

I don’t argue with DH anymore… maybe once a month at most. We essentially shadows living under the same roof with a platonic relationship.

We are happy around the kids, but other than that we have nothing to talk about.

He was a stay at home parent when he was laid off – it was very stressful for me because things just werent getting done at home and I didnt have time after doing OT and getting hours. If it wasn’t for my mom, I wouldn’t have been able to do it.

He is very kind and has some sense of responsibility. Very good to the kids. I am very conflicted.