Hi @slp1214 I think you’re right to be mad at him in most of these situations, it’s really disrespectful to promise to do things and then flake out. Just because a person is caring or trustworthy it doesn’t mean that they’re perfect, I learned this the hard way. I can relate to you in the sense that I dated someone who was caring and faithful but he was the most boring person in the world and I think he never really listened at me, he even frequently interrupted me when I was speaking. Although I wasn’t happy I kept telling myself that I should stick with him because he was a good person and the only man that had treated me well,-I was forcing myself to be with someone that didn’t fulfill me and whom I didn’t really love, low self-esteem issues. I finally went into a depression and three months later he broke up with me, which was painful but relieving at the same time, because that started the way to my recovery and being myself again (I started going to therapy soon afterwards).
It looks like your boyfriend doesn’t realise the extent of this actions or that he doesn’t think before acting. I suppose you have already talked to him, haven’t you? I think it would be advisable lo let him know that some of his actions are not ok and that it hurts you when he behaves like that. I think that if he really cares about you he should try to be more careful.
JMO
A big hug

Hi mariajohanna
Have you tried joining a grief support group? I’ve registered in one, but I only have my next appointment in September. What I think you need is to be able to talk to people that can relate to you, that can feel what you feel. I lost my brother two weeks ago and I’m also feeling people whom I considered friends retracting slowly, like they don’t know how to deal with my grieving so they’d rather be apart. And when I am with them I just don’t feel good anymore. It’s like my sadness and my silence makes them uncomfortable and they just try to be normal like nothing’s happened, but sometimes you just need to talk about it and to receive some support. Isn’t it just sad that when you lose a loved one you also end up losing friends?
Try to be around the people you know you can talk about and won’t be uncomfortable.
I hope it gets better for you.
Big hug

I think that a similar thing happened to me.
I was with someone but I wasn’t happy because I really didn’t love him. I was forcing myself to settle just because I was so eager to be with someone and because he was totally different from the other men I’ve liked and had made me suffer. He was kind, gentle, etc., but I suspect he was in the same situation as me, that he didn’t really love me too, but was feeling lonely, as he soon started to pressure me into spending more time together and making plans about moving in together when we hadn’t even been dating for 3 months. I soon fell into a depression and deep down I knew I had to end it to heal myself and move on, but I was too scared of loneliness as well. Fortunately he sat me down to talk one day and that was it, we split up. I cried a lot, I felt really really sad for days after that but I knew it was the right thing to do. Then I started seeing a therapist to work through my self esteem issues and I eventually felt better. I actually regret I hadn’t gathered the courage myself to finish the relationship sooner.

What I want to say, your BF might be in the same situation as I or my ex was.
It’s going to be painful, I know, but if you love him, set him free, it’s obvious that he’s suffering. You are suffering too, and you don’t deserve that -on one does, actually. If he’s the one for you, you’ll eventually end up together, but if he’s not you’ll move on and grow as a person.
Have you tried going to therapy? Sometimes our demons are in our own heads without us realising. I really hope your problems dissapear soon and you are happy again. BTW, sorry for my English, it’s not my mother tongue, but I hope I’ve explained myself well. Big hug.