I am so sorry for you. I am going through a horrendous breakup and have found reading to be helpful. Gaining some insight to WHY your husband can be so selfish, uncaring and destructive might be helpful to kickstart your healing process. Hopefully these books will guide you to take better care of yourself, love yourself. It’s not easy when someone has depleted you, diminished your self esteem and robbed you of your power. I know what’s it like to feel stuck, powerless, depressed. It’s like an addiction and you feel you NEED to be with these people emotionally and physically. Take one small step at a time and when you fall, don’t hate yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. You seem like a very kind and sweet person who deserves true love.

Psychopath Free, Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships… , Peace
Men Who Can’t Love, Steven Carter
Help, I’m in Love with a Narcissist, Steven Carter
(Someone advised me to read up on love addiction as well.)