@turquoise115 – Thank you!! I just got out of a relationship that brought up those same insecurities for me, and for a few weeks now I have been sitting here wondering if there was anything I could have done to make it go differently. But your words were exactly what I needed! He was very immature, and as it turned out quite selfish, and just simply didn’t have the personality to be able to support me as I dealt with my insecurities. He first distanced himself from me emotionally, then got “busy” at work, and finally sent me an e-mail to say he was seeing someone else after we had been together for over a year. That is not the way an emotionally mature person behaves, and more and more I see that there is nothing I could have ever done to have this turn out any different.

But I didn’t really tie this all to control issues until I read your comment. You are absolutely right! The reason I felt he wanted me to behave differently is because he was trying to control my behavior, to be like he wanted me to be, but not let me be who I needed to be to fully grow.

Wow, thanks. Your comment was a revelation!