Dear Sarah

I used to have such thoughts but the I realised they were just thoughts, conditioned thoughts I considered over and over during a dark period in my life. I found that the cause of all human suffering and I say suffering not pain as in physical pain is mental talk in your head aka thoughts. Thoughts aren’t always necessary, one can stop thinking although it takes practice or you could also just observe your thoughts without having a feeling that’s related to that thought but again that takes practice. Ever wonder why Buddhist monks are so happy it’s not above you or anyone for a matter of fact, anyone can reach a state in which they are liberated from the mind, it’s rather easy just concentrate on your breathing without mentally judging it or as I sometimes do talk myself through something or another, This is all related to something called mindfulness an ancient practice which changed my life, take a look online if you’d like. I hope you get better and know you aren’t alone.

With my deepest sympathy ~

Drikken.

P.S. By the way if you are indeed interested I’d suggest listening to either Ajahn Brahm or preferably Ekhart tolle and please let me know if you also think he looks like a turtle.

I’ve been in that boat except at the other end, first off I’m going to recommend taking a look at a few of Eckhart Tolle’s videos or perhaps books, he sure thought me a thing or two on how to deal with all my problems, especially those of the mind. When I was younger I suffered from consistent negative thinking aka self inflicted Depression, I considered suicide on numerous occasion throughout my teen years but thankfully I got better thanks to people like Alan Watts which basically teaches the same sort of stuff as Eckhart. Secondly the fact that you’ve been emotionally effected by this which isn’t always a bad thing in moderation, all I know is when I was sick my mother wouldn’t leave me alone, she kept on about how I wasn’t right and how I needed help, it made me feel even worse and made me not want to get help. It can seem like a double-bind from where you standing, you might say “I can’t just leave it” or “I need to take some action” and your somewhat correct but their is a line between effective help and forcing help upon someone, I can understand how difficult it might be to stay emotionally stable when your loved ones are suffering but it’s absolutely necessary you do just that, otherwise you’ll only end up adding to the problem. Eckhart Tolle will show you how to become the observer and the neutral party opposed to getting caught up in all the negativity. I hope this helped you or at least pointed you in the general direction of help.