Hi! Having gone through something very similar with my own mother, I thought I’d throw in my two cents worth. Your mother is not going to change – sorry, but it took me years of therapy to realize that. My mother blames her childhood as well so I’ve heard that excuse over and over. This past summer we had a huge blow up – foolishly, I had taken her in to live with me and it only lasted less than two months. As I was telling my friends the various ugly things she said to me they said I should have held up a mirror to her because, essentially, all the things she brought up were things she believes about herself.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that worships the mother role but not all mothers are great ones. This is my first time posting so I’m not sure if I can leave a link to an article but I’m going to try.
Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
If you can’t copy and paste the link just do a search on “Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” by Darlene Lancer
I’d love to be able to tell you that things will get better. Your mother and mothers like ours seem to lack that connectivity that we all crave in our family life. Once I gave up all expectations of being loved and accepted by my mother I was slowly able to move on. It will take time but remember you are worth the energy you put into your own healing and eventual happiness.