Well, brushing all judgement and negativity aside, I must say that this is a very inquisitive and courageous thread.

I know that sometimes our experiences in relationships can leave us grasping for answers to the questions “is this normal?”, “has this happened to others?”, “why am I experiencing this?”. Relationships that involve soul mates can be doubly urgent in our search for answers, and I truly admire your patience!

For the past five years I have been coming to grips with the fact that my soul mate and I are not together and probably never will be. She and I had an other-worldly connection that we both got lost in for four years. Our souls were aligned. We recognized each other from past lives. After years of making love and sharing our dreams, I started to feel smothered and found it harder to make future plans with her. Something in me knew that I didn’t want her to be my life partner, even though she was my soul mate. I tortured myself while trying to understand how this could be so. I kept it all in and lied about my feelings for a year, trying to bide my time in the hopes that my feelings would change, until it all came out and I told her I wanted to separate. I was happy to be out of the relationship, but still to this day I cry fairly often because I miss her so much. I will never love another person as much as I loved her.

I have to believe that our break up was pre-planned so that I could wake up to the fact that love means sharing yourself with the other person, not keeping your true self hidden because you think it will keep the other person safe. It was a hard lesson, one that I’m still learning from, and I believe that without our breakup I never would have learned these lessons that are now allowing me to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with my current boyfriend. He is wonderful, but like your husband he does not share in my soul journey. He does not believe in the concept of a “soul”, although he is very supportive of me having my own spiritual beliefs. I miss that other-worldly connection with him. He is not my soul mate, but I love him, and I can see us being together and having a family. A part of me is also aware of this need for a more soulful connection, so the future is yet to be seen.

I wish you luck on your journey. Navigating around soul mates is not an easy one, but I believe it gives life a greater depth, making life more meaningful, keeping us alive through the pain and the grief and the love and the light. At least that’s what it’s done for my life. Namaste.