Another thought is that not all criticism is about you, the person. Sometimes it is about an action or behavior you undertook. And criticism about actions or behaviors are something you can address. You can stop doing something. Do more of something. Do less of something…etc.. The thing to remember is not all criticism is about who you are as a person, and when it isn’t, it’s OK to not be offended. Simply learn from it so that you can become more valuable to the organization, your boss, etc.., by making a change in what you do, not who you are.

Dreaming,

I’m 54 and have been married three times, and each time a big reason I got married was because…more than anything…I didn’t want to be alone. So, I forced things. I ignored issues that should have sent me running away in the opposite direction. And, here I am, all this time later, single again and realizing that if I’d simply been patient and not convinced myself things were right when they weren’t I may not have so much wreckage behind me.

So, the advice I gave to myself…and which I humbly offer to you…is to avoid, as much as you can, any strong urge you may have to force-fit a relationship into your life that you know, deep down may very well not be good, simply so that you won’t be alone any more. I didn’t find the resulting pain and heartache worth it in the end.

Currently, rather than trying hard to go out and consciously/deliberately (dating sites, etc.) find someone, I’m trying out a completely new strategy for me: letting life/the universe bring someone into contact with me. I can’t guarantee that will work for me, but I know trying to control things definitely didn’t work for me, so I need SOME new approach, that’s for sure.

Tessa, I had an almost 20 year career in advertising agencies and have experienced…many times…exactly what you are describing: way too much time on my hands. At one agency I had so much time on my hands I went out one day and watched a matinee at a local movie theater and then, when I came back to work, realized that no one had any idea I’d been gone. Then, on the other hand, there were times when I was at work from 7am to 9pm for almost seven straight months every day of the week.

I grew to hate the advertising business. At one point…the first time I was laid off…I went out and tried to make a career change to real estate agent. But by that time I had four kids and a wife I supported and I just couldn’t generate income fast enough to pay the bills…so back to agency life I went.

That lasted until I went to the client side. That was better! A lot steadier work load and no ultra-crazy hours. Sure, there was still a small bit of ebb & flow, but NOTHING like the agency world. So, my first piece of advice would be to see what you might be able to do on the client side in a marketing department somewhere.

But, even that didn’t, in the end make me happy. I recently resigned from my big ol’ corner office marketing job and don’t intend to look back. I feel that, ultimately, I either work for myself or “die trying” as it were. I, too, grew so weary of suggesting new ideas, new ways of doing things, etc. and having someone in the old guard fearful of change eventually get it all killed that I just gave up.

I can’t say I’m in equilibrium yet. I’m living off of savings and trying a number of different things to get new income streams to match the costs I’m desperately trying to drastically lower. But I’m full of hope and I’m working hard and happier than I’ve been in years. Interspersed with moments of sheer terror 🙂