Anita, thank you for your response and trying to find out more, I really appreciate it.

I don’t feel like I’m being picked on anymore, although my mom’s attitudes remain and we’ll never have the relationship where I can tell her what’s bothering me and ask her for advice. She’s unfortunately very negative and pessimistic in such situations and it gave me loads of anxiety in life. My older sister is quite vain and still has to be “the best”. I don’t care anymore. Although on surface we all have ok relationships, it left a lot in me to deal with and it annoys me.  I actually moved 2000 km away, 5 years ago. 😉 That was not my reason for leaving, but I do feel a bit lighter knowing I’m on my own here and that they can’t meddle.

Therapist is not an option for me at the moment because they’re ridiculously expensive here. I was taking antidepressants for a few years but quit because I don’t like pharmaceuticals and ofcourse after quitting it’s back to how it was before. So I’m trying to find a better way to cope. So sorry to hear you were abused. How are you coping with this, if I may ask?

Hi Anita. Sorry I’m not making much sense. I’m not a native english speaker, plus it’s a lot of emotional stuff I just threw out here. My sister basically did everything like mom. And my point was that I couldn’t learn any better from her either.

Vidya, not sure if you’re an offended mother or if this is seriously how you give advice. “I would only say that there is expiry date to blaming people in your life for where you end up. At 31, you are way past that age. Look around you, people with way more challenges rise up.” -That’s some motivation. Hope you don’t go around giving that advice to depressed people, to “look around” and feel inspired by others who rise up. And maybe throw a bit of “snap out of it” in there too.