Dear Pain and Niv, I will say what has worked for me in regards to dealing with past abuse, it might resonate with you, everyone’s different. What I did, and only recently, was to allow all the feelings about the abuse come through and really feel them. At the same time I showed my younger self love and compassion and let him know I was there for him, that I had his back. I realised I had ignored and even locked away my younger self who those things happened to . That part of me felt so alone and abandoned by me. I made peace with him, making sure he knew none of it was his fault and he didn’t deserve to ever be treated in that way. By doing this I was able to start taking the power back I had given to those who abused me in different ways, and to the event itself. I started the process by writing down whatever came out, as I did that I started getting answers, and things about myself and my past started to become more and more clear. I did this all on my own. Then I looked up articles and videos that resonated with what I was doing. Every day though I just wrote and wrote which helped me get clear about my pain. Like I said, this is what worked for me personally. The simplest thing I feel would be to look at who you were at the time of the abuse and show him/her love and compassion, picture yourself hugging your younger self and go from there 🙂

Dear pain, I’ve read your post and I want to say that to express all you did, all you’ve been through and all you’re going through takes a shit tonne of courage! Seriously, most people never admit to anything like that. So many people wear masks pretending their lives are great cause they have money, cars etc, but underneath that mask they are miserable. Most people run from their pain. It takes a lot of strength to be able to face your pain like you’re doing. The very fact that you’ve reached out on this forum means there’s something inside you, even small that wants to live, that wants to get better. This site has heaps of stories from people who got all those material things you mentioned, only to discover none of it made them happy. There’s several people that have replied to your post, including me, because we relate to that deep pain, of feeling unwanted and unloved, being treated like shit and feeling left behind in life. We all come from different backgrounds and different countries, and although we may not know what it’s like growing up in a third world country, we do know about self hate and feeling like we don’t matter. The fact we’re reaching out to you shows that you do matter! That there’s people willing to share their stories and open their hearts to help you. The biggest thing for me was to start being kind to myself, be a friend to myself, show myself the love others weren’t showing me, stop believing who others told me I was due to their abusive behavior. They don’t know because they’re not me! Just like your abusers are not you! so they don’t know you. You’ve reached out for some guidance and help and people are responding to your call. People do care. We don’t know you, what you look like or anything and it doesn’t matter. You’re a fellow human being like us that deserves love and to be treated right. Hopefully you’re still with us and will read some more of these posts and know that you’re not alone in feeling that way, and people do care about you. Why not tell us your name or even a nick name, so we can stop calling you pain 🙂