Thanks, Anita. That was helpful. I have two big important things left to do to move forward and they are both challenging. I feel like letting go of some people was an important aspect of me becoming more fully myself. So, I’ve let those that I was doubting go and it felt good (sort of like cleaning house). The last two things are harder. One is quitting smoking. And the other one is finishing up a major exam. I can’t seem to move forward and I keep thinking that the smoking is hindering me, if that makes sense. Then I stop smoking, throw them away, and then I go back to them because I’m afraid but they don’t help with the exam. I just end up smoking and procrastinating. I know I’m capable of doing both but I seem to not quite fully believe it. So I’m stuck in both. I’ve quit before and I am fully aware of why I smoke etc and a huge part of myself is telling me to stop, that I don’t need them anymore. I’m not worried about withdrawl, I’ve been fine before. I use them as an emotional crutch. But then, I give in to the fear. And that ties up with me not moving through with my exam. Which is a big deal. I feel like letting go of smoking and doing my exam without it, is leaving my past behind and moving forward with a lot of uncertainty because I don’t have much experience operating from a worthy/secure sense of self and I’m scared to let go but I’m also scared not to let go. I’ve done so much work on myself and I am so proud of myself but it feels like now I’ve reached the end and these are the last two pieces and I can’t seem to move through it. Thoughts?

Thanks Anita,

I think I’m okay with setting boundaries when people are obviously unhealthy/toxic. I think, I tend to feel guilty about not wanting to maintain contact with those people who at times I was friendly with but have since then realized that I don’t have an interest in prolonging the contact. However, social norms dictate that I keep up appearances but I find that really draining. Plus, I feel guilty. What if their feelings get hurt that I removed them FB or they will retaliate etc.? Thanks!