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crystalParticipantHi Chil,
I believe that every person is born to be an enduring star of the cosmos and this wont work if only I believe it and you dont… Love is always sufficient, we just have to realize it.Thats all…Some people have such a nature that only allows them to recieve love and feel it all the same but they are unable to express it. While some people’s nature allows them only to love and not expect anything from their loved ones. Your life will prosper when you allow youself to feel that limitless love instead of faking it..Suppose when you fake a smile just pause, and think, could this small thing givr you joy? If you find the answer in affirmative then make sure you smile with your heart and not with your face.. If you find the answer to be no, then think why not and force a better smile. Slowly this will affect you..The fact that you try to make up after every fight shows that you’re a gud person..You dont want others to remain upset because of you because that pains you with, maybe guilt…… This is a genuinely good quality. Harness it into becoming your best quality and you shall see how drastically your life will change for good…Take Care,
Crystal…crystalParticipantDear Dawson,
I know you wont believe me if I tell you that I know exactly how you feel given the fact that Im just 15 years old but…I really do understand how it feels not liking your lifestyle or the direction that your life is going in. I have been thru’ it and gladly have overcome it too..I wont say that all it took for me to do it was just decide to be happy because that determination usually fades away slowly. I would suggest you to try to derive happiness from the little things that life offers you.
.Do you like the rain? If yes, then dont forget to smile broadly when it does and try to think that its specially for you..! Im sure your attitude will change sooner or later. When you look at your child try to feel that pride and love that your child is going to fill you with. I suggest that you spend atleast 5 minutes thanking God for giving you the life that you have.. I also feel that you have to take joy in the things you do. As I mentioned earlier, look at everything you do positively and surely you will find your drive in life. Im not telling you that this will be easy and you will be fine in no time. It will require patience and also it will need you to have faith in yourself….and if you are able to manage these two things properly then they are sure to bring about great results…
I hope I was of some help..Take care,
CrystalcrystalParticipantMatt
Im not dorky :)) OK I am,but only little..:) That’s really nice that you love your family so much..You know, I tried swimming once and barely got out of the pool alive.!! so I don’t think Im going for it again..I do dance,but I just started dancing on classical Indian dance forms and they are just soooo tough but I think Im doing pretty good….Thanks a lot for replying..
Warm regards,
Crystal
crystalParticipantWissam,
Ive been in the place where you are now…I wonder what makes these people who criticize you special.??? If someone criticizes you on the wrong point I think you should be bold and take a stand and oppose it…Im in 10th grade and so I know how much pressure you must be going through…I’ll tell you one incident…Everyday I have to tell the prayer in fron of an assembly of 1000 students and they repeat after me,so naturally I might get confused atleast one day..My teacher just hates me cos Im good in studies and I became the headgirl against her wish.(she wanted another girl who’s her pet to become the headgirl!!) I forgot the prayer and in front of all the 1000 students she told me that what a shame it is that Im studying in this school for 10 years and I don’t even know the prayer! I was almost about to cry but then I thought that this time I’ll keep quiet and next time I won’t give her the chance to complain…The next day she again shouted at me without a reason.But this time I didn’t tolerate it and I directly asked her what was my fault and I shouted back at a teacher for the first time…before that she kept insulting me withut reasons, for a long time I tolerated it but there comes a time when everyone has to stand up and just stop all the nonsense that’s happening around you…
I would suggest that you just remove the people who criticize you from your life..keep the people who make you feel good about yourself and you should yourself start feeling good about yourself.As Matt suggested go and confront your teacher.Silence her..! Don’t give her the chance to make you doubt yourself..! You know what you are capable of…Go and achieve what you want to….
Best Wishes
Crystal
crystalParticipantHey Matt,
Thank you sooooo much again for replying.Thanks for the really cute joke too..Your advice has really helped me..Im so greatful to you from the bottom of my heart cos now Ive started taking things positively and I think that Im almost back to being my old self..you are right about me loosing my playfulness..I stay immersed in doing other things and finally I just don’t get time to play.Maybe I should make time cos nobody gets time,they make time right? So I am going to start being silly 🙂 and I don’t really play anything.Sometimes I play chess but now I find that way too boaring…you could suggest me something and I’ll surely try it out….
Here’s a joke for you:
Why did’nt the skeleton go to the dance???
Cos it had no-body to go with..!!!
I’m sure its the most silly joke you must have heard but right now that’s what came in my mind..Many many thanks again..
Warm Regards,
Crystal..
crystalParticipantHey Matt,
I’m really thankful to you for replying.You are right about all that future focus stealing the happiness from me.That’s cos all the time I keep thinking that all my teachers and my principal should not feel that it was their mistake in making me the headgirl..I keep getting appreciated by them but even while Im getting accolades I fear that there should not come a time when even one person should be dis-satisfied with me. So i constantly work hard to give my100% and while doing that Im ignoring the fun proportion within me..I complicate simple situations..But I feel that now Im improving in managing time between my duty and my friends..But I still dont feel excited nor happy from inside.I feel that there is something missing in me.I lack something important,like a feeling, that I used to be driven by before is no more there…Im clueless about what it was and how to get it back..I will try to get back to being my old self but Im not sure if i will succeed.But I surely will try…Thanks again.Warm Regards,
Crystal
crystalParticipantHi Jade,
Thanks a lot for taking the time to reply…Maybe I would not have opted for the post of headgirl,but I fear that it too would have left me feeling inferior to others, and now that Ive got soooo much responsibility it leaves me exhausted.I don’t understand what should I do or what I should’nt..But I do believe that I am improving in living up to those expectations that all have from me.I have little by little regained the confidence that I used to have on myself and I see myself coming out from the cloud of self-doubt that I had been under.But i still miss the authentic myself in all this.Anyway thanks a lot for the links, they are vey reassuring..Warm Regards,
Crystal
crystalParticipantHey Sam,
Im glad that I was of some help to u 🙂 take carecrystalParticipantHi Samantha,
Its very common to feel that way u know…I too have pimples that leave few scars and when I was in 8th grade it got horrible.! My class is abundant with pretty girls and i felt so low that I didnt talk to many people and I only used to study and go home with my one and only friend and i never even looked anywhere else except at my mom who used to come to pick me from school…the mean girls used to mock me and gossip about me a lot and even though I knew about that i didnt go and face them…my lone support was my best friend who was with me at all times..she too is not all that pretty but her heart is made up of gold..she kept boosting my morale and later I startrd feeling ok about myself..after sometime I didnt mind the scars and I went ahead and made some good friends and I started feeling happy about myself…the way i looked didnt matter to me anymore…After some days I started thinking about the positive things in me and I found that what I have in terms of character,academics and many other things makes me a much better person than those other girls…I feel that u should too think about the much better things in u and dont let this 1 thing hold u back…go ahead and talk your heart out and just for one moment forget about these scars and think of yourself as the best person there.start feeling good about yourself and that only will lead to a high self esteem…I would also like to tell you that make up damages your skin a lot..trust me when i tell u that it does only temporary good but long time damage…I tried all the stuff available in the market but that only messed up my condition..Then finally I decided to just stop all those and used nothing except a facewash and a face scrub…and a year later I got great results…my pimples disappered and even the scars.just leave your face normal and dont apply make up and all those stuff.im sure it will benefit u…
And please think good about yourself..When my mom adviced me all this I felt that she doesnt know how im feeling and it must be easy for her to just say so but when I followed her advice it actually worked..Just being confident about myself and feeling ok about the way i looked made me the most popular girl in my school..I still have a few scars but now days nobody thinks less about me cos of them..just let it stop affecting u..what u think about yourself is much more important than what others think about u..! All the best..And I do hope my advice helped u…
Warm Regards,
Crystal..
crystalParticipantHello Marilyn,
No no…i meant that all the stuff i wrote about Bernie being a good human being is true….but i would surely take credit for all the advice i gave…;) actually ive seen my friend go thru a lot while she was in a relationship with this selfish guy and i dragged her out of serious depression…so i kinda know what the other person must be feeling….im really glad you liked what i said:) i just entered 10th grade and thankfully i have not loved anyone as yet..right now i want to focus only on my academics and top my school,and of course have fun with friends and family….i feel that we should not be dependent on anyone else except our family and ourself to love us…I have two loving parents and a very sweet elder sister and a great best friend.im pretty good in my academics and im all my teacher’s blue eyed girl..i think thats all ill be needing…and i feel that if anyone has such an environment around them then there’s no need for any other person to come into their life and give them nothing but pain.dont you think so too??? only the people who truely love us should be allowed into our lives..ive been doubting my abilites recently but im hoping to just snap out of this self-doubt stage and be back to my normal confident life..dont you think that at some point every person doubts themself a bit?? i want to become my school’s headgirl and im scared that if i become so,will i have enough time to fulfill all my responsibilites towards my school and also study well?? and if i dont become the headgirl,am i not good enough to become so?? its driving me nuts but still i went ahead and submitted my name as a nomination…im hoping for the best.:)
Even if i dont become the headgirl or even if i do,i have faith that whatever will happen will be for the best…and ill surely try to get those books..i love reading too so i guess ill enjoy those:) thanx for taking the time to reply
Best Regards,
Crystal..
crystalParticipantHi Bernie,
Thanx a lot for all the praises…and im so glad that u felt happy after reading the reply..honestly all that i wrote is true..even thought your not asking ill tell you where i live 😉 i live in bangalore..its a city in India..i just googled seychelles island and wow…its soooo totally cute..ive always loved the sea..and i love dogs too..!!! i have a male labrador..but he stays with my grandpa and grandma..i get to meet him on weekends only and sometimes in my holidays.. I believe that your social life can be very good even in your island…compared to the cities there are much fewer people where you live…go and talk to them,know them and allow them to know u …u can make relations that will be very strong and permanent i think…Im glad that uve decided to go out by yourself and enjoy…have fun..=) i think u need to give out the message that your happy without him…dont take tension,give tension..ive always liked doing that..giving others sleepless nights is way better then having sleepless nights yourself…dont loose your confidence for that manchild..u are much better then him and u know that..so just close his chapter from your life…u did your best and its he who could not handle the relationship…stop blaming yourself…before he starts telling that u kicked him out,i feel,u should tell people that he is so worthless that he could not sustain a relationship and deserved to be kicked out…just go ahead and hurt his ego.show people,especially his family that he is weak and your strong enough to kick someone who is not needed out of your life…for once make him feel so ashamed that he got kicked out of someones house and i gurantee you that next time he tries to tell something wrong about u,and show people that your problemistic,he will be so ashamed and feel so dumped that he wont tell anything wrong about u..take control your life
Try it out…its like doing little wrong to cause major good…and ull feel happy too.=) end this and save yourself all the pain…looking forward to your reply…loads of good wishes…
Crystal..=)
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This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by
crystal.
crystalParticipantHey Bernie,
Thanx a lot for the advice…it really helped me a LOT..! Thanx to you that ive decided to go for it..=) I will try and i hope I will succeed…And im so very glad that u decided not to compromise..let him suffer..he s the one with a bad luck to miss a great person like u..!! he really told u that u wont find a better man then him!! my god.!!! that is screaming and pointing out to a damn big ego…and his family thinks of u as a bad person only cos he projected u like that in front of them..u know that your not like that and so does he..suddenly i felt that he must be a sadist to act that way..Your lucky that u escaped from that relationship Bernie…u know that your a good human and im sure the people who really care for you and who know you too know your a good person.so dont let his family’s opinion matter to u..and where do u live by the way..? sounds so nice to be in a nice little village..and u have great outfits with u then please dont wait for someone to take u out..go out by yourself or maybe with your girlfriends and flaunt off your dresses and wear those pretty shoes with matching earings and all…u know i read it in my most favrioute actor’s interview that no matter what happens,his being happy is always constant.i think thats a pretty good mantra to follow..u can be happy if u look gorgeous(that im sure u do=)) and feel happy..there s sooo many things that u can do to make yourself happy and who knows, maybe in that course u may meet your Mr.Perfect..
Dont waste your precious time trying to patch up things with this selfish and egoistic guy..and ill pray to god that you spend the rest of your life being very happy…i believe that whatever happens is only for good..so dont wait for good things to happen to u,do good things for yourself every moment u get an oppartunity to do so..i live in a busy city where i want to connect with nature but there s so little that i can do,so little that i get to do…i want to help the environment and doing so makes me very happy,but i feel that right now its my duty to study and take care of my parents…my heart yearns to go and live in the countryside…u live in such a nice place and have done great progress in work and have a loving family and so much more…i think your perfect life is just infront of u…all u have to do is acknowledge it…and im telling u nothing in the world can stop u from being happy…not even your self-centered bf..
Go out there and have fun….all your life uve worked hard and made a nice living for yourself…make a world that will comprise of only people who care about u and whom u care about..and then enjoy that world…i hope i could help..thanx again for the advice…
Take care and be happy,
Crystal..
crystalParticipantDear Teyana,
I think tat uve treated his in not tat gud a way before..and lately he s been rude to u..why dont u just sit down n take his hand n tell him that u luv him n you are sorry that u misbehaved before..bt now uve changed and u want him to give u just another chance and that u want things to be just like how they were….im sure he ll understand…and if he doesnt,then give it some time…even then if he keeps acting differently and keeps bringing up the bad memories then its best that you leave him…i can just advice you but u will be the one to decide…..Ill tell u 1 thing-if u really luv this guy then let him go,if his luv is true then he will come back to u…but if u feel its stressing u out then take a small break…stop chasing him and maybe he will start behaving how he used to…but please talk to him about the whole thing first…cos if he had tolerated the things that u had done before then maybe he too deserves another chance….do what you feel right..take a decision on the basis of how he reacts to u when u tell him to be how he was earlier..
I hope my advice helped you and please feel more then welcome to solve my petty problem about school too…All the best=)
Crystal
crystalParticipantHi Bernie,
I felt really happy that you replied…i can totally understand your situation.I had a friend in 7th grade who really liked this guy and he too showed that he loved her a lot.later he started keeping secrets from her and treating her like she didnt matter to him..she tried to pull the relationship with her heart and soul for as long as she cud.but it caused her nothing more then a lot of pain… i just entered 10th grade last thursday and she told me that she s got a guy who loves her soooo much and treats her right..i told you this because i feel,after all the things you told me about your bf,he might not be the perfect guy for you…you deserve a muchhh better guy who treats you right..The way your current bf treats you,it seems like he cares about you very little..you sent him a text and if he really cared about you i think he cud atleast send you a blank msg to show that he heard you and he doesnt know what to tell but he wants to get back with you.but he didnt do that,which is really mean.! and if the fault is not yours you dont need to take the first step..it reduces your importance to him..he might expect you to always take the first step and that will further lead to a HUGE ego..you should be in a relationship to feel good about yourself and your bf,to feel special…please dont mind me saying that if he s the cause of some circumstances that make you think of your relationship as a challenge then maybe you should call it quits…
I dont know a lot about you Bernie but by reading your reply i think that your a really sweet and nice person…i somehow see my friend in you and i think that life will surely smile at you by leading you to the perfect guy…moreover he lied to you about his salary.why would he do that unless he s selfish and wants all the money for himself??? trust is the foundation on which a relationship stands.if he doesnt have that trust on you then your relationship is standing on a very weak base..dont let him hurt you and dont hurt yourself more and more by thinking about giving him another chance..you yourself know what will happen if you give him another chance…
You dont need to call him…he doesnt deserve you..let him realize your worth and apologize.. treat youself with love and utmost care..ive always felt that if we love ourselves then other people are bound to love us.please dont tolerate it if anyone treats you with even slight disrespect..i do believe from the bottom of my heart that ull get a much better guy and ull be happy,much happier than you are now…do take care of yourself. And i wish you a veryyyy happy life.=)=)).you will feel better without him i feel…
And i too need some advice..im the 1st ranker in my school and there s 1 more girl who gives me good competition..i hate her cos she overacts and she s a back biter and she keeps trying to sabotage me and insult me but all in vain.mostly she hates me so much that she once tried to push me from the stairs too.now all the teachers want me to become the school headgirl and i think she wants to become head girl too..but the problem is that im very scared to become the headgirl cos my sister too was the headgirl and she worked so hard and she set bars so high that i dont know if i can live up to all of my teacher s expectations..but i know im the best in my entire school and now im suddenly doubting myself..=( My teachers think i can do it and i feel so too..but my confidence is little low now..what do i do???
Leave my problem aside…you take care of yourself and do what you feel is best….good luck and loads of love..
Crystal…
crystalParticipantDear Bernadette,
I can understand how you feel…You ve been with ur bf for 4 years..thats a long time.I feel that you should decide on these matters little calmly.if he constantly tells you that he loves you it doesn’t mean that he loves you….do you feel he loves you?? when you’re hurt does he look or feel hurt?? how much do you miss him?? do you think he too misses you that much?? I wud advice you to call him up once and get some answers for these questions.decide after that if you want to end this or are you ready to give him another chance.If you feel that he really wants to change then help him change…dont just expect him to change all by himself,constantly support him,encourage him to talk to you about things like how was his day at office and small stuff..and when you feel he’s hiding something then just ask him to sit with you and talk things out…tell him calmly that he doesnt have to share everything with you,it wud just make you feel good if he did..Does it matter what your friends or family or his friends or his family think about the two of you??? you love him and he loves you..thats all that matters! It might be something thats troubling him or he’s scared to talk to you about him..put yourself in his shoes and think.and if you get back together with him then tell him not to take your concern as nagging.If you feel that he’s not honest enough then move on….it will hurt initially but have faith that someone really special s waiting for you somewhere..but if you feel that he might be that special guy then forgive him.nobody becomes smaller if they apologize if they are wrong,instead you become a greater person if you forgive them. talk to him and you ll know what to do.
Remember that when God solves your problems,have faith in Him..but when He doesnt,He has faith in you…follow your heart dear..
I ll be very happy if youve benefited even a bit from the big lecture i just gave you…Please let me know if things get better.
loads of love,
Crystal…
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This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 