Thank you Amy. What I meant by ” I never gave the relationship a chance” is that I kept quiet about my feelings and didn’t tell him until the end when I was already moving out. His initial reaction was confusion and anger and now that time has passed he has acknowledged both our roles in the situation.
Your words have helped a lot. I will sit down and ask myself these questions. I have felt like going back a million times, but have stopped myself every time. Something is stopping me and that something is a painful truth. Him and I are not compatible no matter how much I miss him.
My mom (who sees him as a son) says he has changed, that he is more open minded, and not so black and white (which is what has blocked me from expressing myself to him…I pretty much knew his opinions and responses to things). During this time I have also grown to be more independently and live for myself and not just for my partner. I have definitely grown as a person and luckily bumped into Buddhism concepts that changed my perspective forever.
Thank you for your time.