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Benjamin ButtonParticipant
thank you for feedback anita,
im a consultant and i really love to talk to people regardless of gender, features and so on. but of course as a guy i prefer talking to a lady rather than a guy due to ego matters, moving on.
my motives is not to get sexual to someone, i have never done that when im in a relationship, i just find it refreshing talking to different person sometimes that’s why i do talk to them, and its not that i always do the first move, most of the time im just a reciever.
i have never cheated on any girl i have been, as well as to her, in fact im the one who was cheated and thats my first ever relationship and because of that i have completely pushed myself to become strong and independent.
the part i asked a girl for a coffee, i was on vacation in a different country so theres no way i can bring her along. but i want you to know that all my activities i always make some sure to ask my gf is she would like to come, and most of the time she was with me.
Benjamin ButtonParticipantThank you for your response Laura,
I highly agree that Trust is really important, actually even before we were officially in a relationship she knew that i socialize with my friends and other people through social apps. and when we got together i think the insecurities she felt along the way piled up, that’s why she can’t take it anymore and snooped on my phone.
after what happened, we talked about how can we make things work, so we came to an agreement for me not to talk to strangers through social apps. which i did, however if didn’t stop there, we still fight over the same issue.
The thing is 2 weeks past after she hacked my fb and were back together because we had an agreement for me to be entirely open to the people i talk to which i did, then, she asked me to not talk to them (friends) in a daily basis which is also did, however, she keeps asking for more, in a daily basis she is asking if i talked to someone and if i did she will ask me to grab a screenshot of the conversation so she can tell what is it all about and i feel so violated with this but i still give way to her just to make her feel better.. but the thing is… it keeps getting worst,
sometimes she will message me because she noticed my fb messanger is active and would say are you talking to (specific girls name), there this one girl she is really threatened, this girl i met in Vietnam when i traveled with my parents a few months back, i told her she was my friend, she really don’t believe me and cant move on with this girl.
(all the friends in my stories is not in the same location as me, they were thousand miles away from me, I live in Kuwait, these friends that i normally talk to were in Singapore, Philippines, Vietnam, USA & Dubai. i don’t have any girl friends that i talk to who resides in the same country because i know its bad for me)
I had given this relationship so much importance, as i said, she is a selfless apathetic girl, so every time we had a fight/bigfights/chanceofbreakup i always come running and pulling her back to me to talk and settle things, if i didn’t make a move more or less we are done for. i believe in fixing things before it gets worst and she is so lucky that i always eat myself up just to fix things for us.
in our relationship, i had compromise so much that i even forget what was ego is, my story is all about me as the culprit, i am an independent type of guy, i had never asked anything to her except for some feedback/opinions to push her confidence & self esteem above average, i always encourage her to engage with people, activities and make lots of friends, in fact my group of friends in this country is now her very close friends, i introduced her to my family, she is staying with me on weekends, and on some personal occasions i invite her over to come.
the truth is i was in a 5 year relationship before she came, i ended my last relationship because my ex has to go to detention for 5 years (Her company got involved in bribery in the government and since shes in the high management she was arrested and jailed) and i decided to give myself 1 year to completely think it over to move on or wait in which i decided later to move on.. we have no closure because i was in Kuwait and she was in China.
my ex (fiancee) have the same personality as me, we would always remind each other to enjoy ourselves and make better choices for our future, the 1st year we were living together in Singapore while i was working there and the rest (4 years) were in LDR. i have never felt any disappointment, neglect, boredom in this relationship it was refreshing, free and beautiful however sometimes its really not for us so we have to move on.
getting back, after 1 year of moving on i decided to find someone and that’s where my current gf comes in.
I always make sure we discuss and get to some agreement that will both work for us, but in the end, it just fails, she really cant trust me, i know myself better than anyone, i just needed her support and her trust like how i support her and trust her.
Benjamin ButtonParticipantThank you Monklet, im still in the process of thinking it through, i still haven’t contacted her its been 5 days now, i want to talk to her and see if i can get through to her to understand my point of view again and if she refuses to understand me then i really have to set her free. i have done this process a lot of times and i guess this will be the last time i will be doing this, hopefully this time i can break her barriers to let me through.
also, its funny because the example you gave is exactly whats happening but in a more serious tone, and i think Age is really one of the factors to evaluate where the relationship should be so i really have to mention it.
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