Thankyou Marie.Your response is very insightful and welcome.
Ill adress your comments,if I may.Yes, Im sure i dont give anyone else a chance.It sounds a cliche, but she was my one.I think,I dismiss others and give them no chance.
Regarding my apparent reluctance to change.I think, I wont to hold on.I wont to remember the emotions.If the longing dissipates so does the emotions.I think that makes sense? As one learned person one said,”Im addicted to my struggle”
I just presumed one day Id wake up, and the longing would be gone.Like all the other times Ive been dumped lol!
Im not sure if a spark exists.Shes been with this other man for over 10 years.I know that longevity doesnt mean much.I would certainly feel a “buzz” for want of a better word,If I knew deep down in her soul that she occassionally regrets breaking up.Your right,I want her to notice me.I want her to feel “something” when im around.Hate,love,loathing Ill take anything! At least it would validate my belief that I used to mean the world to her, as she did to me.
We dont move in the same circles anymore.Socially.However,I saw her in the street yesterday,and en route to work today.Its uncanny how many times it happens.
Re the breakup.She called to say she might be pregnant.I was unsupportive.Then some text messages were exchanged.My statement that “I dont want to be the oldest dad in the playground” wasnt well received.I actually wanted to tell her that I wanted to bring up her kids.It all got misinterpreted.I apologised,but the rot had set in.She said “I dont think I can get past this”
Yes 12 years is too long.Far too long.I need to think about this hard and long.i have before and been ok for months.Then itll come back and bite me,when I dont expect it.
Your input has been very helpful.Thankyou so much.xx

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by paul coombs.