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cookieParticipant
Thank you so much Sann for relating to me, reading your story was really helpful. I have to ask you though. Were you happier after the breakup? Did you ever regret your decision?
What he meant by that quote was that when i bring up my feelings of being disconnected and not feeling in love, it makes him feel insecure that he is not good enough and it leads him down a road of fear of losing me or that as some point he might also not feel in love anymore because of how many times i have brought this up (Tried breaking up twice already).
I also knew there was something wrong for some time now, but I was hesitant to bring it up because I always feared his reaction. I should have done this long time ago…
cookieParticipantThank you so much for your advice. I will be true to myself. Before I see him, i will come to read this message again.
Yes, last time when i had to be physically intimate with him, i cried like crazy because i felt like i was doing it out of obligation.cookieParticipantThanks Inky. Yes, we are engaged, I have a beautiful ring. But we haven’t made wedding preparations yet, i came up with excuses(let’s find money and a stable life first,..) because i knew the way i was feeling.
I’m going to be honest with you, i tried breaking up with him on phone in the past and it didn’t go well. He kept begging me for another chance to make our relationship work and i felt bad for hurting him. On the phone he won’t accept it and he has politely asked me to never bring the issue of feeling not in love and disconnected again, because it hurts him and makes him feel unsure about himself and us.
cookieParticipantThank you Anita. I feel like I don’t even want to give our relationship time once we see each other again. I would be forcing myself and i would feel like I’m pretending. But may be he deserves a chance after all these years? I owe him that…?
I was not completely away the whole time, we were seeing each other once per year for a period of 1 month. I would go for holidays to spend time with him. But even when i look back, those are not my best memories.
The reason why he doesn’t feel the same way is because he always knew i would be his wife, he still loves me. Sometimes he has given me advice to take control of my emotions and choose to love him again. He says that everything is a choice. But i can’t seem to be able to do that.
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