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Connie

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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 89 total)
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  • August 2, 2017 at 7:18 pm in reply to: Is it a hint? #161824
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Mina,

    Thank you for your advice. I reached out to him several times asking him if it’s really over and thats why he sent me his latest email.

    He’s not very responsive after breakup. Maybe he’s deeply hurt since he used to feel being the one who’s more romantic and sensitive in our relationship. I guess what I can do right now is to give him more time and just show him love and, like you said, surround myself with family and friends. To be honest, whether he comes back or not, I have to be able to make myself happy. Having a relationship is important but I realize there are a lot more important things in life to explore, too.

    Sending my love back to you 🙂

    August 2, 2017 at 7:07 pm in reply to: Is it a hint? #161822
    Connie
    Participant

    Hi Eliana

    I email him everyday after receiving his last email, just to share my life with him by telling him what’s going on in my life now and sending him some pictures – something I didn’t do before. I also let him know about my determination to get back together. I am still waiting for his response. He blocked my number after I asked him to when we broke up – I had no idea why I asked him that, it was pretty thoughtless I have to admit 🙁  So I also sent him an email asking him if he would consider to unblock me so we could resume communication.

    I guess the lesson learnt from this breakup is to only say things when you truly mean it. Apparently I have been paying my own mistakes. I really hope things will start getting better soon!

    Thanks very much for your kind words.

    August 2, 2017 at 8:44 am in reply to: Is it a hint? #161728
    Connie
    Participant

    Hi Lauren

    Thank you very much for the feedback.

    I would love to meet up with him, the only problem is that I am overseas and will not be back for another couple of month. Distance makes everything more difficult. But i will keep trying to send him clear messages in regard of what I want and expect from our relationship.

    Thanks again!

    August 2, 2017 at 8:41 am in reply to: Is it a hint? #161724
    Connie
    Participant

    Hi Pearce

    I broke up with him over an argument about some issue that was never resolved in our relationship: I mentioned breakup everytime I felt unhappy. He got tired of it and agreed to break up. He shut himself out after breakup and only sent me an email once in a while. I felt I wasn’t able to communicate with him so I decided to ask him and say if there’s no another chance for us, I was gonna move on and never look back. I wanted to know if there’s room for me to keep trying and win him back. That’s why he sent the latest email to me.

    Looking back I realize that even though I want him back, I never really take any actions because it’s hard for me to swallow my pride, probably the same for him.

    His email makes me wonder if I wasn’t trying hard enough. People always say “if he loves you, he will come back and pursue you.” But I was the one who pushed him away and ended the relationship, so I can’t really expect that he will run back to me.

    I guess I just want to know what to do to make him believe that I have really changed and still want to be with him.

     

    August 1, 2017 at 7:43 pm in reply to: A closure after a tough break up #161666
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Mina

    I am glad that you finally found your closure. I read your thread before and can relate what you think. Breakups can be really touch and make us doubt if what we had was even real. He did thank you for the relationship and send you his blessings and that tells what you had together was meaningful and real. No hatred and no regret.

    July 31, 2017 at 12:42 am in reply to: Morning depression #161196
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello,

    First of all, I want to thank you for all suggestions and feedback.

    My morning depression has improved a lot since I started practicing mindfulness in the morning when I first wake up. I still have some problems sleeping at night. So maybe trying a different habit before going to bed will help, too!

     

    July 27, 2017 at 6:41 pm in reply to: Morning depression #160682
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Eliana and Anita

    I took your suggestions and started new habits. It’s been only two days but I can already tell the differences.

    During the day, whenever time allows, I read and write down my own thoughts, share with friends in possible.

    I changed my morning habits completely by practicing mindfulness – doing body scan before getting out of the bed. It’s been very helpful and I think I will keep doing it.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

    July 27, 2017 at 5:38 pm in reply to: Marriage and finances #160680
    Connie
    Participant

    Siri

    I understand you take your vows seriously, what about him? Is he taking his vows seriously?

    July 27, 2017 at 8:11 am in reply to: Marriage and finances #160502
    Connie
    Participant

    Hi Siri,

    I don’t think whoever gives this kind of ultimatum is thinking rationally. Maybe there’s some underlying issues in this matter. If you don’t want to separate, ask for more time and communicate. If I were you, I would try to find out what he’s insecure about before making any decision. Have you tried counseling as a couple?

    July 27, 2017 at 1:09 am in reply to: Marriage and finances #160446
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Siri

    Just some thought:

    I was in a similar situation. I made more money than one of my exes did. However, during our relationship, he was constantly judging me how my money was spent. Like you, I had to ask for permission before spending (even small things like buying a t-shirt.) As time went by, I slowly realized his control over me was a sign of low self-esteem and insecure. Since I could afford myself some luxury trips/items and had my own circle of like-minded friends, I wasn’t depend on him at all.

    We all agree that you should not give up control over your own money and opening a joint account is a good idea. However, if that’s still not ok with him, maybe you should think where he’s coming from- what his motives are. Is the bible/the preacher the only reason? Controlling is a sign of being insecure. Is it possible that he’s insecure about something that triggers his control over you?

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by Connie.
    July 25, 2017 at 6:58 am in reply to: Do i fight or should he? #160032
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Ace

    I would say think twice before reaching out to him.

    1. If you want to find out whether there’s a possibility for civil/peaceful conversation, then maybe its a good idea to see if he’s ready to talk to you or not.

    2. If you are reaching out to him just to “get him back”, then be prepared for the possible rejection.

    3. I don’t know him, but it’s also possible that he will not respond or respond to you in a very cold way.

    Before you contact him again, be sure that you will be ok with all possible outcomes. As for me, I tried to reach out to my ex several times, but got hurt even more each time he ignored me.

    I am also in my 30s and looking at my friends who are all married/having kids/in a relationship makes me wonder if I will be alone for the rest of my life, or ever have a successful relationship. However, I stopped worrying about that, I have decided just to enjoy myself and my life, and simply focus on making myself happy. Only when you are happy will you attract the right person – that’s what I believe now. Stay strong!

    Connie

    July 25, 2017 at 3:28 am in reply to: I can't move on #159990
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Sage

    Sometimes we love them too much to let go and overlook the importance of happiness. Do you think you are happy in this relationship/situation?

    I just experienced a terrible breakup, and I realized the more I allowed it to linger the more painful it became. So eventually I had to let go because I wanted to pursue my own happiness and become a better person who knows how to love herself more.

    Nobody can really tell you what his intentions are as I still do not have answers for my own breakup. We just need to look forward and have faith in finding peace for our wounded hearts. It’s a painful process but if you are determined to move forward, it will get better! You’re not alone, so don’t lose hopes.

    Connie

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by Connie.
    July 24, 2017 at 5:08 pm in reply to: Can a break up truly changed you? #159954
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Mina,

    I totally understand how you feel as I am also going through a breakup. My ex left with a lot of things unsaid.

    Like you, I used to plan everything with my ex in it. We lived together and spent all the time together. He was my world. Losing him is like losing a piece of me or even my life. I have been devastated but I also realize that I need to live again just for MYSELF.

    Nothing in the world is worth losing yourself to, not even a man you deeply in love with. I, too, was afraid of changing, because I didn’t want to lose him – in me and in my memories. I was afraid that if I changed, then he would be out of my life for good. However, the truth is, they are already out of our lives. No matter how much we loved them, they still chose to walk away, whether the relationship ended in good or bad terms. The only thing we can do is make changes and prepare ourselves for a better life and the right person to come around.

    I was the one who stopped myself from moving on, because I didn’t even want to. My family and friends started getting tired of me because I didn’t even want to help myself. I lost all desires to do anything. I shut myself down for entirely a month – I didn’t work, I couldn’t eat and sleep well. Then I came to realize: How can someone love me again if i didn’t even love myself? That’s the moment I started to let go. Yes, I am still trying. Letting go is very hard, but I know eventually I will find happiness again. Please pull yourself together, love yourself, and live for yourself. Open your mind and embrace life again. There are so many beautiful things in this world. Don’t lose the forest for the trees.

    Sending you lots of love.

    Connie

    July 22, 2017 at 7:16 pm in reply to: His silent treatment is driving me crazy #159648
    Connie
    Participant

    I am afraid that I can never move on from this relationship. His silent treatment is so hurtful. I don’t understand why we can’t talk like adults – have a really calm and peaceful conversation. It makes me wonder if what we had was even real.

    I can’t stop thinking all emails he sent me. They all sound struggling as if he wanted me to go back and ask him for another chance. I did everything but nothing worked. It hurts me every time he ignores me.

    I try to stay positive and move on at every waking moment. But deep inside I feel so lost and hopeless. Sometimes I just want to shut myself down forever. I seriously don’t know if I will be able to love again.

    July 20, 2017 at 5:05 pm in reply to: His silent treatment is driving me crazy #159262
    Connie
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Your feedback was very insightful. Perhaps he guilt-tripped me to make himself less guilty for ending the relationship.

    Hello Eliana,

    I am so sorry to hear your inquiry. Please rest well and take good care of yourself.

    I will keep posted if anything comes up.

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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 89 total)
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