Dont blame your self. It was a terrible accident. Time will heal your mind, you will always feel the pain but in my experience it lessens over time.
I lost my girl a year ago, so I kind of know how you must feel.
Hugs… just hang in there.
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Life feeling heavy? Get When Life Sucks: 21 Days of Laughs and Light. A tiny daily break from all the stress.I Need That