I’ve got a group of “friends” but really I feel that all we are is friendLY, and that there is no real connection and from previous experiences i’ve learned that they aren’t particularly trustworthy, though they are kind. They are lovely people but we really don’t connect and my school is quite small and out of all the people there they are the only ones I feel even slightly alright with.
Before I feel lonely I am generally in need of someone, a friend, or family member to talk to, but though my family is so loving and want the best for me, they still don’t connect with me, I feel like they barely know me, and that they don’t seem to bothered by that. No one really understands me, which would be hard in normal circumstances, but is made even harder due to the fact that I barely know what is going on that has lead to all these terrible feelings.
I’m going to lots of professionals because my parents believe that will help me to discover the root cause, but I know they won’t be able to, how could they? If I can’t even determine what makes me sad, besides my loneliness, and I don’t even understand why it is I feel that way.
I just don’t know what to do anymore.