Let my situation be motivation for you- I am fresh out of a serious relationship with the man I thought I was going to marry because I relied on him to be 100% of my happiness all the time. When we met, I was independent. I had hobbies, passions, spent time with friends and family, and then as we got more serious- I stopped doing those things. We moved in together 6 months ago and things got even worse for me. We were still loving and supportive of each other, but I could not figure out why for the life of me I felt depressed and anxious when I had everything I wanted. The man I loved, a home together, talk of marriage…

It wasn’t until he broke up with me a month ago that I realized, I had everything I wanted that allowed me to avoid the truth: I don’t know how to make myself happy.

I am devastated, don’t get me wrong. But I am grateful this happened now. We were on the brink of engagement and weddings and I know if this didn’t happen, I was about to enter a lifetime of depending on someone else for my happiness. I love my ex dearly, and still I believe he is the one for me- but not now. Not until I am whole on my own. In fact, when we broke up- we discussed this being an act of love. How selfless it is to let someone go because you know they need the freedom to work on themselves.

I am in therapy and suggest you do the same. I’m not sure how your relationship is going but if you feel like you can’t work on yourself while you’re in the relationship, do yourself and your boyfriend a favor and end it. It doesn’t have to be forever. It might be, but it won’t matter. At the end of the day you will have a stronger sense of self, and no one can ever take that away from you.

Best of luck.